The Death of the Christian Sexual Ethic

R.I.P.

It appears that the Judeo-Christian sexual ethic has been killed in America. It has been convicted of being impossible, archaic, and repressive. Testified against with the evidence of many hypocritical Christian leaders who have been caught in sexual crimes and improprieties. Judged guilty by the jury of media and popular opinion. And formally executed by our culture. 

"Good riddance," many are saying. "It was past time for it to go. Now we can enjoy sex without the restrictions of some 2000 year old book." 

But have we entered into a new era of sexual freedom and pleasure or into a new era of sexual addiction and pain? 

Sex without limits may bring more than we bargained for.  

Since the Judeo-Christian sexual ethic has been so vilified by our culture, it is important to at least know what it is. Here's what the Bible would say. Yes, yes, I know, there are sordid tales and seemingly strange sexual standards in the Bible but let's start with the basics before addressing some of that.

1. Sex is created by God. Sex is not our invention. It was designed by God. We were created as "male and female," with different, complementary sexual organs (Genesis 1:27).  

2. Sex is a good gift from God. God is not ashamed of sex. He declared it "very good" as part of His original creation (Genesis 1:31).

3. Sex is powerfully procreative. Sex is the means God designed for creating new life. Male and female come together and amazingly and wondrously have the potential to bring a new human being into the world (Genesis 1:28).

4. Sex is spiritually bonding. Sex takes two wholly other people, male and female, and brings them together into a mysterious union, one flesh, uniting them physically, emotionally, and spiritually (Genesis 2:22-24). 

5. Sex is so powerful, bonding, intimate, and procreative that it must be protected within the security of a lifelong commitment that we call "marriage." Within the security of marriage, a person is enabled to be vulnerable, naked and unashamed, and thus experience the beauty of intimacy. Moreover, any children gifted from this sexual union are then born into a stable, committed relationship (Genesis 2:24-25).

Okay, that is the good side of the Judeo-Christian sexual ethic. The original design. The way things are supposed to be. But the Bible also acknowledges that there is something wrong with our world, with our bodies, with our desires. Our original parents decided to go their own way and experienced the consequences of their choice. As their children, we inherit these consequences. This is what the Bible calls "sin."

6. Sin has distorted our sexual desires. The power of sex is still there but now it fights against containment. It is like a fire that quickly spreads and burns out of control. We have sexual desires that push against any boundaries. We have sexual impulses that become amplified and, like cancerous cells, multiply to the detriment of our own souls. We are all spiritually and sexually broken people (Romans 3:19-23). 

7. Sexual sin impacts us at a deeper level than any other sin. Sex is not just a physical act. It involves more of us than we realize. The more we misuse it, the more it changes us psychologically at our core (1 Corinthians 6:18).  

8. Sex outside of marriage promises more than it delivers. Apart from the security of a lifetime commitment, sex seems freer and less restrained. But it actually forces us to put up protective walls in our heart to avoid the pain of being intimate with someone who may leave us tomorrow. So we try to separate the act from the vulnerability and intimacy that it is designed to produce. We work counter to the power and purpose of sex and find ourselves trapped within the walls of our own heart (Proverbs 5:18-23).

9. The society that worships at the altar of sex soon becomes a dangerous, destructive society. The freedom to pursue sex without boundaries eventually leads to more and more perverse and experimental sexual acts. Children are seen as inconveniences that can be sacrificed for personal pleasure. Women are seen as sex objects. Men lose self-control. Families become unstable and transient. Abuse multiplies. Society suffers (Romans 1:24-31).

Yes, the Bible includes some stories that would make even a sailor blush. But what the Bible describes is not what it necessarily prescribes. The Bible does not view the world through rose-colored glasses. It is brutally honest with the ugliness of sin. Jesus summed up any allowances against the original design of marriage as God's awareness that the hardness of people's hearts may sometimes require the "lesser of two evils" in a society (Matthew 19:1-11). That is simply the reality of the world in which we live.

But Jesus also offered us hope.

10. Our sexual brokenness can be healed in Christ. Sin has distorted our desires, misled us, lied to us, harmed us, enslaved us, but its power has been conquered at the cross. And when we recognize our need, yield to the Lordship of Christ, and humbly receive His grace, we gain new life and begin the progressive pathway toward wholeness (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).

The wounds may be deep, but God's love is deeper. The addictions may be strong, but God's power is stronger. 

Yes, it is possible that this is all a bunch of hooey. Maybe we are just slightly more advanced animals programmed by our genes to hunger for sex. Maybe sex is a mere physical act. Maybe there is no "spiritual" side to it. Maybe children are an inconvenient consequence that can be avoided, if at all possible, so that we can have even more unhindered sexual pleasure. Maybe there are no legitimate limits to sex. Maybe we are on the verge of a sexual revolution that will bring untold happiness, progress, and satisfaction to our culture. 

Or perhaps the Judeo-Christian sexual ethic has been poorly misrepresented, falsely accused, and hastily judged.

Perhaps we have executed an innocent citizen of our nation, eliminating a member of our society that has served us well for 200+ years and has proven to be a reliable guide in other societies as well.

The only one willing to tell us the truth on the witness stand.

With its hand on the Bible.

So help us, God. 

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2 Responses to The Death of the Christian Sexual Ethic

  1. Agnostic Christian says:

    I was raised Christian but have recently began to doubt my beliefs based on recent experiences. Christianity taught me that the universe is binary: there is right and wrong, man and women, salvation and damnation. Yet, all of my experiences have shown that the world is random, subjective, and impossible to judge. 

    In our lifetime, modern science has uncovered a wealth of information in every field including human genetics, psycology, and sexuality. What perplexes me with this particular subject is the existence of hermaphrodites within humanity. This seems to contradict your first premise. It appears to me that there is man and women but also an infinite range of sexualities within them i.e. there are cases where the phenotype and genotype properties are opposite. Is there a biblical answer for such cases? If you’re genetically male but appear in all instances female, is it a sin to have sex with someone who is genetically male?

    From here an argument can be made that if the genetics and biology can be muddled, can’t the sexual psychological tendencies be without influence from sinful desires i.e. voyeurism, self-gratification, and lust?  I do not intend to be impertinent, but I have yet to hear a sound biblical explanation of such a cases.

  2. admin says:

    Very good question. I have thought about the issue of hermaphrodites and it is a tough one to deal with. The percentages I have heard is that this is roughly .05% of the population so though it is a real issue to address in such a discussion, it is a rare one. I would say that premise #6 is the counter-balance to premise #1. Sin has distorted our bodies and our souls (intellect, emotions, and will) so there are certain situations that are simply hard to pin down. This keeps us humble and aware that we must always show compassion to whatever challenge a person is facing. There is no room for pride or self-righteousnes in this discussion. Like I said, we are all broken spiritually and sexually. But without question, the Bible presents a consistent ethic regarding sexual practice. I agree that there is a wide spectrum of masculinity (just look at twins Esau and Jacob for whom my blog is named) and femininity (consider Deborah to Hannah) so gender tendencies should not be defined too narrowly (this in itself can sometimes produce gender confusion and hurt). But when it comes to sexual practice, we have entered into a realm where there are clear boundaries…and I believe that these boundaries are for our protection individually and for the health of families and society. I am not saying that the Christian sexual ethic is easy or without challenges (in fact, I would say it is impossible without the Spirit’s power because it requires purity both inside and out) but I am saying that it is higher, better, and truer to our biological design and creative purpose and should not be vilified, mischaracterized, or lightly discarded.

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