A Life Well Lived

John Gardner, 1911-2010

I don’t remember when I first met John Gardner. It must have been shortly after I arrived in New Jersey. John was a faithful member of Sayre Woods Bible Church when I started serving there in 1998.  I can’t remember exactly how we were first introduced or what my first impressions of him were. I guess I just slowly got to know him over time. I do know that we shared the same hometown, Jacksonville, Florida (or at least I was born 30 miles down the road from there), and that was perhaps the initial topic of conversation that started our friendship.

My knowledge, admiration, and friendship with John increased when I started ministering regularly to the Senior Saints at Sayre Woods. A friend of mine started a seniors small group at the church and I was soon recruited to help. When the friend later moved away from the church, the ministry fell into my hands. The unexpected responsibility quickly became a wonderful gift.

John was in that seniors group. Indeed, I would call him the anchor of the group. He set the tone. And at 90+ years of age, he had earned the position of patriarch and the title of “Papa John.” When things got off track or particularly dicey, John had a way of bringing everyone back to the main thing. “It’s all about loving people,” is what he would say. And he meant it. He lived it.

Ever since his wife had died in a hospital and he had witnessed people in hospital rooms with no visitors and no personal care, John resolved to visit people every Wednesday and Sunday in hospitals and nursing homes. He did this faithfully for the next 20+ years of his life. Even at 98 years of age, John was still driving (a bit over of the speed limit I might add) and making his visits. He always said, “When I am too sick or too old to visit people and help them out, then I want God to take me home.”

This past week, God answered that prayer. Liver cancer knocked John off his feet in May. And on June 28, it took his life. Or, perhaps more accurately, John let it take his life. There was no fight. He was ready to leave.

I will never forget John. During those years in NJ, he became my example of the Christian life. My model of a life well lived.

John at a Mets game

I went on six trips with the Senior Saints. Each time I drove the church van and John sat in the front seat beside me. It was his spot. No one dared to sit in it. For hours upon hours, I talked and listened to John. I heard his testimony about coming to Christ, about being so convicted by the Spirit that he couldn’t even watch a Mets baseball game. That’s how serious the conviction was! Finally he got on his knees and told God, “The life that You gave me, I have made a mess of it.” And then he asked Jesus to come into his heart and to be his Lord and his Savior.

I heard about his childhood in Jacksonville, about his respect for his father, about falling in love with his wife, Lillie Mae…especially after he saw her smoking a cigarette of all things. I heard about his dinners as a teenager at a “white man’s house” and his adventurous trip from Jacksonville to the northeast with $5 in his pocket (with a short stay in a jail along the way).

John and Noah in Plymouth, MA

My most precious memory of all was our trip to Plymouth, Massachusetts in 2008. My children went along and one of my sons, Noah, became John’s personal guide and best friend on that trip. I have a picture impressed on my mind of John and Noah walking hand in hand throughout Plimoth Plantation. Almost 90 years separated their lives but they walked together as friends. Noah helping to guide John through the dips and turns of the park…John helping to guide Noah through the dips and turns of life.

Soon all of my boys were wanting to hang around John. After that trip, they never failed to give John a hug as they entered the church each week.

John sat at the entrance of the church auditorium, in his chair, passing out bulletins and hugs each Sunday. Seeing him there reminded me each week what church was all about. “It’s about loving God and loving people.”

If the measure of the Christian life is the fruit of the Spirit, then John Gardner was a true Christian.

Love. John loved God and loved people. No one who met John failed to feel loved and cared for by him.

Joy. I rarely saw John without a smile on his face. Even in the midst of life’s challenges, John found a reason to laugh and rejoice in the Lord.

Peace. John was secure in his relationship with God through Jesus Christ. He was ready to share his testimony with anyone who asked.

Patience. John sat next to another one of my southern friends, Faye, each time the Senior Saints met. Together they were like a comedy team. Faye talking in her slow southern drawl and John playfully hitting her with his cane telling her to speed it up. For some reason, that is my picture of John’s patience. Even when he was impatient, he had a way of making it fun.

Kindness. Caring for people in hospitals and nursing homes was the passion and joy of his life. He loved to tell of the two depressed older ladies in the nursing home who perked up and started wearing make-up and nice clothes again after he started to visit them on a regular basis.

Goodness. John was quite simply a good man, a man whom you enjoyed being around. You never felt uncomfortable around John. I can’t help but think of Proverbs 16:7, When a man’s ways are pleasing to the LORD, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him.

John in his chair holding our son, Joshua

Faithfulness. John woke up at 4:30 every morning to read Psalm 5 and to pray…especially for “the young people.” Even on nights when he stayed up late to watch the Mets lose, John kept his morning appointment with the Lord. His faithfulness to the Mets was only exceeded by his faithfulness to the Lord.

Gentleness. One of my favorite pictures is John holding our newborn baby, Joshua. John never lost his gentle care for children, his southern gentleman-ness with ladies, or his gentle spirit with anyone who crossed his path…unless they were wearing a Yankee cap :>).

Self-Control. A few years ago, John’s house burned down. By the grace of God, he woke up in time to break a window and crawl out to safety. But the real problems began after the fire, when John had to deal with insurance companies, township regulations, bank mortgages, and construction companies. Each week seemed to present a new challenge for a 90+ year old man simply trying to rebuild his house. But he kept his cool and his sense of humor even when the frustration level had to far exceed his energy level. He ran on the power of the Spirit.

So I will dearly miss John Gardner.

By God’s providence, I moved away from NJ just a few days before John’s health concerns began.  For some reason, God spared me from the experience of seeing a man whose strength I greatly admired slowly give way to the merciless, deteriorating effects of cancer. My picture of John remains the same as when I left NJ. I see a gentle giant of a man with a big smile and a quick wit at the entrance of the church handing me a bulletin and giving my wife and kids a hug.

The next time I meet John it will be a similar scene. Only this time I will be walking into the doors of heaven.

Please follow and like us: