When I was in junior high, I actually wrote a country song. I was stuck on a church bus for several hours going on a trip and I started making up and singing some goofy country song. I called it the “Worst Country Song Ever” because in it the guy has literally everything go wrong in his life. After being subjected to HeeHaw episodes by my dad and hearing “gloom, despair and agony on me” over and over as a kid, I guess I was scarred by country music and this song is the result. (So forgive me if the lyrics offend you in any way…I wrote this in junior high.)
I am posting the song because a few days ago we had a “Sounds of the Old South” country/gospel concert at our church to raise money for our summer mission trip to Guatemala. It was a great evening…with a lot of fun music. At some point in the evening my ol’ country song popped into my head. A few months earlier I had dusted it off in my mind and sang it for my kids during a fun family evening. They loved it and made me sing it several times over. I even revised a few lines to sharpen some of the rhymes (which tells you how bad they originally were). So the song was fresh in my mind, the evening was informal and fun…and my wife wasn’t next to me to talk sense into me.
So, near the end of the concert, I was called on stage to talk about the Guatemala trip. As I stood up there with my two older boys and several other youth going on the trip, I decided to sing my song. Carlton Jones, our music leader, tried to accompany me on the spot…while my two older boys tried to disavow that they were related to me.
Unbeknownst to me, someone in the crowd had a smartphone and recorded the song. Here it is for all those people who have asked for proof that I actually sang a country song in front of a live audience. When you hear it, you will understand why the words I heard the most after the concert were “please don’t quit your day job.”
I think everyone in the class of ’86 knew you were destined to do great things……but no one saw that one coming!!
Yeah, but with a voice like mine, a country song…or perhaps industrial metal…is about the only thing I can sing.