30 Things I Have Learned in 30 Years of Ministry

This month marks my 30th year in full-time ministry as a pastor. Wow…I am getting old!

In May 1990, I moved to New Orleans, LA as a naive, ultra-idealistic, fearful yet slightly over-confident Bible college graduate ready to embark on my first full-time ministry position as youth pastor at Berean Bible Church.

Thirty years later, I am pastoring Community Bible Church in Baton Rouge, LA…about an hour from New Orleans…less naive, much more realistic, a little less fearful yet very aware of my weaknesses, inadequacies, and limitations as a pastor.

As I reflect back on thirty years of ministry, I wrote down thirty things that I have learned along the way. There is no particular order to this list. I simply started writing until I hit #30.

  1. Be careful of someone who is too eager to tell you their side of the story. Someone told me to be careful of the first person who comes into your office for counseling when you start a new ministry position. This has proven to be true. When someone is way too eager to make sure you know their side of the story, then they are most likely hiding something and want to get you quickly on their side before all the facts can be known (Proverbs 18:17).
  2. Take a day off…and turn off your phone. Ministry has a way of consuming all of your time and mental energy. Make sure to take a day off…and to stay away from the phone and emails.
  3. People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. A wise old friend told me this when I began ministry in New Jersey. He was oh so right. To be an effective teacher, you need to be a loving pastor first.
  4. God will break you to use you. The pattern in Scripture is clear. Before God could use Joseph, He had to break him. Before God could use Moses, He had to break him. Before God could use Peter, He had to break him. Until our self-sufficiency and pride are gone, we will not depend on God’s Spirit. God uses broken vessels for His glory. When we are weak, then we are strong.
  5. Teach with your life more than your words. I used to think that people would remember all the great lessons I taught and sermons I preached. Instead I found out that most people can’t remember what you taught…but they remember how you lived.
  6. Guard your heart and your eyes. Proverbs 4:23 tells us to guard our hearts with all vigilance because out of it flows everything else that we do. And in 1 Timothy 4:16, Paul tells young Timothy to “keep a close watch on yourself and on your teaching.” We fail and we fall when allow little sins to creep into our heart and then start covering them up.
  7. Be vulnerable. None of us are fully formed in Christ. None of us have “arrived.” All of us need grace. And it is the security of grace that allows us to be honest with ourselves and vulnerable with others. The opposite of vulnerability is superficiality. God won’t work deep in our hearts when we insist on putting on a veneer of fake spirituality.
  8. You can’t change anyone. When I began ministry, I thought I could change the world. Over time, I realized it was hard enough to change myself…and impossible to change others. The best we can do for others is love them, pray for them, and point them to Jesus. We are care givers but only He is the cure giver.
  9. Be compassionate…everyone you meet is fighting their own battle. Life is hard and everyone has fears that they hide, sins that they battle, and wounds that they are trying to heal. Even behind anger is a heart that is fearful or wounded in some way. So look past the outward masks and personas and ask God for wisdom to see another’s heart.
  10. Fight for joy. Joy has always been the barometer in my life. When my life and ministry lack joy, then I know something has gotten off track in my mind or my heart. Joy is the “serious business of heaven.” It is our strength. It is the fruit of the Spirit. It is the will of God for us. It is our birthright as believers. Let us fight each day to be thankful and joyful in Christ. Like the psalm writers, sometimes you just have to praise your way out of the pit.
  11. Reserve mornings for God. Life has a way of hitting you early in the morning. Every day I am tempted to jump right into the responsibilities that overload my calendar. Instead I am learning the secret of giving the “firstfruits” of the day to God. Reserve the first minutes or hours of each day for Him…read, meditate, pray, exercise, worship…and then let the rest of the day fall as it may.
  12. Seek understanding before reaching a conclusion. Many times I have reacted wrongly or judged someone prematurely because I failed to take time to listen before I reached a conclusion. James’ advice would save a whole lot of heartache if we followed it daily: Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God (James 1:19-20).
  13. Love people where they are…not where you want them to be. It is too easy to get frustrated with other people…particularly in areas of life where we are strong and don’t seem to struggle. But God calls us to love people where they are…and even to be willing to stoop down and wash their feet. After all, that’s what He did for us.
  14. Strengthen your marriage. The strength of my marriage will impact the long-term strength of my ministry. My first priority as a pastor is to love my wife and lead my family well. For if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? (1 Timothy 3:5)
  15. See the beauty of the church even in all of its messiness. I have been in church ministry long enough to see the “warts,” scars, and blemishes of the “bride of Christ.” We can get off track complaining, blaming, gossiping, grumbling, demeaning, dividing, wounding, and hurting others. Yet somehow God still loves us. And He teaches us how to love others, as He has loved us, by putting us in a local church with other imperfect people. What can feel ugly at times is actually the beauty of the church.
  16. Don’t let your children regret being PK’s. I remember someone telling me before the birth of my first son, “You know that pastor’s kids are always the worst ones in the church.” It was not a well-timed, encouraging statement from a fellow brother in Christ (see #15 above). But I was determined to put my family first and to make sure that my boys never lamented the fact that I was in ministry. That was a good choice.
  17. Take vacation time. It is often hard to pull away from ministry. The needs of people never go on a vacation so sometimes it is hard for pastors to take one. But I am learning more and more how vital it is to rest. We often have to “be still” in order to truly know that He is God (Psalm 46:10).
  18. Take a sabbatical. In line with the above, every pastor needs an extended time of rest after many years of service. Ministry has a tendency to produce a slow drain on your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual energy…and without a recharge, you will eventually crash.
  19. Focus on faithfulness not success. In our image culture, it is too easy to look for success in outward factors. However, God calls us to faithfulness not success. We are called to plant and water…only He can bring the increase (1 Corinthians 3:7).
  20. Avoid comparisons. Wow, this is so much easier said than done! With the advent of instant information and communication, we are exposed to every ministry, church, and pastor around the world. It is hard not to see the outward successes of others and to feel your own inadequacy. Almost daily I have to remind myself that God has not called me to be someone else…but to be the person He has created me and redeemed me to be…and to minister faithfully within the sphere He has given me.
  21. Exercise regularly. Yes, bodily exercise only profits a little compared to godliness (1 Timothy 4:8). But it still has a profit! Our bodies are the temple of God. It is hard to minister effectively when our bodies are neglected or broken down. Taking care of our physical bodies is a spiritual discipline.
  22. Learn to breathe. Stress and anxiety are realities in ministry…or at least they have been for me! Stopping, resting, exhaling, and casting my cares upon Him have been a growing daily necessity in my ministry life.
  23. Don’t take yourself too seriously. When I am honest, I realize that most of my anxiety can be traced back to pride. I am trying to bear on my shoulders that which only God can bear. I am trying to be a “mini-messiah.” I am thinking that I have to manage and control the universe. I am doubting and usurping God’s sovereignty. Learning to laugh at yourself and your weaknesses can be a freeing exercise. Isn’t it amazing that God chooses…and prefers to work through…cracked pots? (1 Corinthians 1:26-31)
  24. Keep the main thing the main thing. Just about everyone in the church has an opinion on how the church should operate…and usually they don’t hesitate to tell the pastor! If you don’t have laser focus on the gospel of Christ and on making disciples for Him, then you will easily be tossed to and fro by every opinion, fad, political issue, and church program that floods the market.
  25. Keep learning. Always be teachable…always be learning. Read books, listen to podcasts, take classes…do whatever it takes to keep growing in your faith and to keep sharpening your ax (Ecclesiastes 10:10).
  26. Serve on a team. One of things that I have learned in ministry is that I don’t want to minister alone. I am so thankful for the elders that I have served with in church ministry. I can remember each one…and each one has taught me something about myself, about the Lord, and about ministry. We were not meant to serve alone.
  27. Be a peacemaker. It is all about relationships…and relationships are downright difficult! Live long enough and you will have plenty of opportunities to be hurt, wounded, neglected, forgotten, offended, and betrayed. Since ministry is people-intensive, then the chances of being hurt as a pastor are even greater. Learn to bear with others. Learn to forgive. Learn to say you are sorry. Learn to seek reconciliation. Learn to be a peacemaker…and to be called a “son of God” (Matthew 5:9).
  28. Be a discipler. Invest in people. Be a Paul to a Timothy. Just about every young man is looking for someone to affirm them, love them, pray for them, encourage them, and help them develop into the man God created them to be.
  29. Don’t expect quick results…we are growing trees not weeds. I often wish that ministry and discipleship yielded quick, tangible results. Sometimes you see radical changes in people but more often than not people grow slowly…with lots of stumbles and falls. Our eternal God is not in a hurry…and He teaches us patience and grace through the long process of discipleship.
  30. Love God and love others! Don’t over-complicate ministry. Love is the foundation. Love is the measure. Love is the goal (1 Corinthians 13). It is in contemplating the abundant, incomprehensible love of Christ that we are filled with all the fullness of God (Ephesians 3:19). Saturate yourself in the grace of God every day and let His grace ooze out of your pores. That is the secret of ministry.
Posted in Random Thoughts | 2 Comments

Confusion & the Coronavirus

There is an interesting word in the Greek language.

Akatastasia.

It refers to a “state of disorder, disturbance, confusion.”

It comes from two Greek words…a (the negative particle) and kathistimi, “to set in order.” Whereas kathistimi describes a place of order, a place where things are kept in perspective, a place where life makes sense… akathistimi describes…well…the opposite.

It is a society where nothing makes sense…where things are overblown…where disorder, chaos, and confusion reign.

Hmm…sounds like our world.

This word, akatastasia, is used in several verses in the New Testament.

“When you hear of wars and disturbances [akatastasia], do not be terrified; for these things must take place first, but the end does not follow immediately.” (Luke 21:9)

For God is not the author of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints. (1 Corinthians 14:33)

For I am afraid that when I come I may not find you as I want you to be, and you may not find me as you want me to be. I fear that there may be discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance and disorder. (2 Corinthians 12:20)

 For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. (James 3:16)

So what do we learn?

  • God is not the author of confusion. If confusion is around, then it is because He has been rejected, abandoned, or forgotten.
  • As the world moves further and further away from submission to God, it will be characterized by more and more confusion, disorder, conflict, and war.
  • Pride, self-centeredness, and envy breed more chaos, division, and confusion.
  • Christians can succumb to confusion…especially when they get caught up in the discord, jealousy, anger, ambition, pride, slander, and gossip of the world.

This coronavirus crisis has certainly created confusion in our world. We were already politically polarized…angry…skeptical…cynical…stuck in our echo chambers. And now this crisis has amplified that.

Quite simply, we are blasted with more information than we can possibly process. We are media addicts, inundated with facts, stats, news, views, theories, conspiracies, experts, pundits, analysts, panelists, commentaries, documentaries, and doomsday scenarios that beckon for our attention…heighten our fears…and confirm our deepest suspicions.

Tossed to and fro…blown here and there…by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming (Ephesians 4:14).

Maybe it is time to turn off the news.

How much information do we need?

Deep down, we tend to think that knowledge is power. 

Perhaps. If you know the right things. Otherwise it is just a mass of information, tangled in our minds like an old extension cord twisted and warped with no clear ins or outs. A jumbled story with no plot, no theme, no resolution.

We are not to be naive…but we are to be wise.

We are not to close our eyes…but we are to keep them focused on the right things.

Scripture’s message has not changed.

Finally, brethren, whatever is true,
whatever is honorable,
whatever is right,
whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely,
whatever is of good repute,
if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise,
dwell on these things. (Philippians 4:8)

If you fix your eyes on the news, you will live in confusion.

If you fix your eyes on Christ, you will find peace.

Are there selfish ambitions, greed, deception, lies, hidden agendas, evil plots, conspiracies in this world? Absolutely. Should we focus on them? Absolutely not.

Do not call conspiracy all that this people calls conspiracy, and do not fear what they fear, nor be in dread. But the Lord of hosts, Him you shall honor as holy. Let Him be your fear, and let Him be your dread. And He will become a sanctuary. (Isaiah 8:12-14a)

In the end, God calls the shots. He rules the universe. He pulls the strings. And He is working all things according to the counsel of His will.

And He will become our sanctuary…when we choose to dwell in Him.

The atmosphere of confusion is chaos.

The antonym to confusion is peace.

The antidote to confusion is humility.

For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. BUT the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.

And the answer to confusion is Christ.

There is another Greek word that is worth knowing.

Anastasis

“To stand again, to raise up, to resurrect.”

Confusion is everything stable being knocked down.

Resurrection is everything knocked down being raised up again.

God is not the author of confusion.

He is the God of resurrection.

And therefore, we can have peace.

Even in the midst of a virus crisis.

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Anger & the Coronavirus

I was working on a project. About forty minutes into it. I had expended a lot of thoughts and ideas on a computer screen.

Then the screen went blank.

My computer glitched.

When everything rebooted, all my work was gone. No autosave copy. Nothing.

I stared in disbelief.

Then I slammed my hand as hard as I could against the table.

I felt like picking up my computer and throwing it through the window.

I complained…lamented…stewed…and steamed.

I wanted to cry but felt like screaming instead.

My wife was in the other room watching my meltdown. I think I wanted her attention. Perhaps I needed her sympathy. Instead she stayed quiet…smart enough to realize that nothing she could say at this point would help.

I was having a pity-party-anger-eruption and it was best to leave me alone.

I took a walk around the block to gather my thoughts…to calm down my emotions…to exert some energy.

I hadn’t had an outburst like that in awhile.

I am usually fairly calm. It takes a lot to push my buttons. But for some reason, my fuse was short…my anger intense…my desire to hit something or throw something acute.

What was going on inside of me?

As I walked…let off some steam…and talked with God…I realized that my emotions had probably been building for awhile. Yes, losing my work was a real bummer, but my reaction went above and beyond the incident.

My life has been disrupted by the coronavirus and I am not happy about it.

The first few weeks were sort of novel…unique…a change of pace. I reflected on what was going on in the world…adjusted…read…contemplated.

But now the situation is getting old. I am ready to get back to “normal”…assuming that there is normal to get back to.

I have a feeling that I am not alone.

The growing protests around the country speak to the growing frustration with our situation. We are not happy…with our government…with our local leaders…with the news media…with the virus…with life in general.

Anger is a powerful emotion…and it spreads like a wildfire. First in us…and then toward others. And it leaves a scorched path in its wake.

Anger in itself is not a sin. It is often a valid and necessary reaction to injustice. Since we are created in the image of God, we seem to have a built-in detector toward injustice. When life is not fair, we notice it…we feel it…we fight against it.

But the Bible puts a time limit on our anger…even our righteous anger.

Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your anger (Ephesians 4:26).

Anger carried over to the next day becomes pervasive…corrosive…destructive.

Even if we can justify our anger (and that usually makes it worse anyway)…we have still crossed a line when we let it simmer in our hearts.

Today’s anger ferments into tomorrow’s bitterness.

The Bible’s analysis of human anger is crystal clear:

Refrain from anger and give up your rage;
do not be agitated—it can only bring harm. (Psalm 37:8)

A quick-tempered person does foolish things (Proverbs 14:17)

Fools give full vent to their rage,
but the wise bring calm in the end. (Proverbs 29:11)

An angry person stirs up conflict,
and a hot-tempered person commits many sins. (Proverbs 29:22)

Be not quick in your spirit to become angry,
for anger lodges in the heart of fools. (Ecclesiastes 7:9)

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. (James 1:19-20)

Bottom line: If you are looking for peace with God, peace with others, peace within your own soul…then you are not going to get there on the road of anger. It will always lead you to greater stress, more conflicts, higher blood pressure, tighter fists, tenser muscles, and poorer choices.

That’s because underneath our simmering, lingering anger are usually the roots of pride and fear.

Pride. I am not getting my way and I have a right to be angry about it.

Fear. I am losing my sense of control and I have to fight to get it back.

Anger feels powerful…but its power is deceptive. It lures us into a false sense of strength… a false sense of control… a false sense that we are improving our situation. But in the end we are only making things worse.

Ironically, anger is usually masking over a deeper sense of depression. We would rather vent than lament. We would rather grumble than grieve. We would rather explode at others than examine our own hearts.

Bottom line: Our short fuse short-circuits God’s work in our lives.

Yes, there are legitimate things to be concerned about in this whole coronavirus epidemic…cover-ups…bad decisions…stupid statements…questionable conclusions…potential governmental overreach.

But simply getting angry isn’t going to change the situation…and decisions and actions made out of anger aren’t going to be helpful in the end.

I go back to my computer glitch and accompanying meltdown.

Slamming my hand against the table didn’t solve anything. It only made my hand hurt.

Throwing my computer through the window may have brought a momentary sense of empowerment but it would have created a bigger headache when I had to clean up the mess, replace the window, buy a new computer, and explain the whole childish reaction to my family…and my shocked neighbors.

Venting, complaining, and blaming my stupid computer also didn’t do a thing for me.

But walking and talking with God…and examining what was going on in my heart…led me to re-connect with God…repent of my own childishness…and realize that there were deeper fears and sorrows in me that I needed to acknowledge and address.

I am not sure if or when life is ever going to return to normal. I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know if the economy will recover. I don’t know if our nation will recover. I don’t know if I get the virus if I will recover.

At the same time, I grieve the loss of corporate worship…the loss of going out to dinner with my wife…the loss of shaking hands with a friend…the loss of drinking coffee in a coffee shop…the loss of my son and future daughter-in-law having a normal wedding celebration.

These things may come back…they may still happen…and besides, there are bigger things to worry about…but they are still losses in my life right now…they still interrupt…they still disrupt…they still hurt…and it is okay to grieve.

Perhaps the reason we are so angry as a nation is because we simply don’t know how to grieve.

When Jeremiah watched his nation crumble around him and everything that was “normal” disappear…he didn’t write Outbursts or Irritations…he wrote Lamentations.

And by lamenting, he found healing…and hope.

Remember my affliction and roaming,
The wormwood and the gall.
My soul still remembers
And sinks within me.
This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.

Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“Therefore I hope in Him!” (Lamentations 3:19-24)

So the next time you feel like screaming at the TV…or punching a wall…or throwing your computer out the window.

Stop.

Take a deep breath.

Go for a walk.

Open your heart to God.

Release your disappointments and receive His comforts.

Release your fears and receive His peace.

Release your sorrows and receive His hope.

Release your pride and receive His grace.

Release your anger and receive His love.

He is faithful.

He will never leave you nor forsake you.

And His mercies are new every morning.

And that sure beats having to buy a new window.

Posted in Coronavirus/COVID-19 | 4 Comments

Churches Are Not Closed

One misconception needs to be cleared up in the midst of this coronavirus pandemic…

Churches are not closed.

Buildings may be closed. Churches are not.

It seems that we have forgotten that the church is not a building but a people…a people redeemed by the death of Jesus Christ…a people indwelt by the Spirit of God…a people called to proclaim the praises of the One who called them out of darkness into His marvelous light.

In the midst of this crisis, nothing has changed in our identity…nothing has changed in our calling…nothing has changed in our focus or in our hope.

If anything, this crisis has gotten our attention. It has given us a greater understanding that we live in a broken world…a greater opportunity to be still and know that He is God…a greater motivation to be on our knees in prayer.

Yes, I know that there is a short-term hindrance on our gathering together as believers. Not meeting together does impact us. We need one another. We need face-to-face relationship. We need encouragement.

But the hindrance on us is not imposed out of persecution.

The government is not ordering us not to preach the gospel…not to pray…not to speak the name of Jesus Christ. They are putting restrictions on large gatherings of people…regardless of who it is or what its purpose is…out of concern for public health. To argue that this restriction is a sign that the government is anti-religious requires one to also say that, at the same time, they are anti-sports, anti-dine-in restaurants, anti-coffee shops, anti-movie theaters, anti-fitness clubs, anti-parades, anti-weddings, anti-funerals, and just plain anti-social.

Yes, when the mayor of NYC says that churches or synagogues that don’t comply with social distancing may be shut down permanently, that is a major concern…and an obvious violation of the Constitution. But churches that continue to meet in large gatherings as a way of thumbing their nose at the government, the virus, and the potential safety of others in their community are also a concern.

Such an attitude shows a misunderstanding and misapplication of the New Testament.

1. As stated above…the church is not a building. There are no church buildings even mentioned in the New Testament. The church met in homes…they met outdoors…they met in small gatherings. Perhaps, if nothing else, this crisis is reminding us that the power of the church is not in large gatherings but in person-to-person relationships…and that the identity of the church is not in a physical building but in a spiritual fellowship of believers.

2. The church scattered can be more powerful than the church gathered. In the book of Acts, the early church was initially able to meet in large gatherings at the temple. It was certainly a joyful and exciting time in the life of the church. But religious opposition soon scattered believers out of the temple and out of Jerusalem. What looked like a major hindrance to the church actually became the impetus for further growth and expansion. Is it possible that the same thing is happening today? As churches are hindered in meeting together physically, they are expanding their message and outreach creatively via the internet and social media. People who may never step into a church building are probably being exposed to the gospel, and being receptive to its message, in ways they may have never been before.

3. God often puts limits on us for His own greater purposes. The apostle Paul was a passionate, pioneering missionary eager to take the gospel to the ends of the earth…and God confined him in a prison cell for four years…and added a thorn in the flesh on top of that. What certainly felt like a hindrance to Paul was actually the means by which God taught him to pray for the churches, to spread the gospel in unexpected ways, and to write half of the New Testament! God doesn’t see limits the same way we do. We fight against limits…God uses them. We see limits as a hindrance…God sees them as opportunities for us to depend on Him more. For when we are weak…then we are strong.

4. The exhortation to “not forsake the assembling of ourselves together” was aimed at those who willfully withdrew from Christian fellowship. The exhortation in Hebrews 10:25 obviously doesn’t refer to staying at home because you are sick or potentially contagious or putting others at risk. In fact, being hindered from gathering together because of valid health concerns should make the longing for fellowship that much greater and richer. In Psalm 42, the psalmist, temporarily separated from the temple, expresses his increasing passion for God and for the congregation. As the deer pants for the water brooks, so pants my soul for You, O God!

5. Faith is not putting others at risk but rather trusting God to work in unexpected ways. Let’s face it, faith can be used to justify a lot of actions. But Jesus said that jumping off a building while claiming divine protection is not an example of faith but rather of “testing the Lord” (Matthew 4:5-7). Faith is governed by love. And whatever one may think about the coronavirus, it is hard to deny that it is highly contagious, has sickened many people around the world, and has killed numerous others…especially those who are older and physically weakened in some way. To put the vulnerable at risk…when you can minister to them in other ways…is not great faith but rather lack of wisdom and love. Faith is also guided by God’s truth. And just as Scripture encourages us to meet together, it also exhorts us to be subject to rulers and authorities, to obey, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men (Titus 3:1-2). To be skeptical and dismissive of practically every local, state, and national leader, as well as the medical community as a whole, is not great faith but rather lack of humility and common sense. God’s ways are not our ways and faith trusts Him to work in unexpected ways in unforeseen circumstances

As a pastor, I look forward to the day when we can gather together again as believers. We are enduring the short-term discomfort of “social distancing” to enable that day to come sooner…and with less potential loss of life. In the meantime, we can still be on our knees daily…loving our families closely…calling other believers regularly…checking on our neighbors frequently…and spreading the gospel creatively.

God is still on His throne.

He is still working all things according to the counsel of His will.

The Spirit is still moving in the hearts of men and women.

And Christ is still building His church.

A people…not a building.

Thus, the church is not closed.

Rather we, His people, are still open to His leading and operating for His glory.

Posted in Coronavirus/COVID-19 | 1 Comment

Stress & the Coronavirus

Feeling stressed?

I think we all are.

Stress is defined as “the body’s reaction to any change that requires an adjustment or response.”

And we are all in a time of change that is requiring major adjustments.

Life has changed…and seems to keep changing every day…and we are not sure for how long this crisis will last.

We all respond to stress in different ways. My wife and I have discovered this fact over the past few days. When I am stressed, I tend to move inward. I read, study, journal, think, worry. My wife, on the other hand, tends to move outward. She manages, organizes, makes lists, gives instructions, cleans out closets, and starts throwing things away.

For the most part, our stress responses coordinate well. I don’t get in her way and she doesn’t get in mine. But sometimes our stress paths cross.

She gets frustrated that I am not helping her clean.

I get frustrated that she keeps interrupting my reading to ask, “Can I throw this away?”

I look up from my book and she has my old blue cassette case in her hand…precious cassettes from my early days as a believer…Petra…Michael W. Smith…Steve Camp…Mylon Lefevre & the Broken Heart.

I am broken-hearted that she would ask.

Of course, she does have a point. We don’t have a cassette player any more…and I am not even sure if they still work. But how can you just throw them away? They might be worth something…at least to me if no one else!

Our frustration levels hit a point that we needed to talk. We had to acknowledge our stress, come to understand each other more, learn to show patience and kindness to each other in the midst of the “weirdness” of this time.

That night we got together as a family and talked about stress. It’s a good discussion to have. How do you know if you are stressed? How do you tend to respond to stress? How can you show grace to a person who responds to stress differently than you?

Stress is a reminder that life is bigger than us…that we are not in control…that we need a strength beyond ourselves.

Stress is a reminder that we need a relationship with God…that we need Jesus Christ.

A year ago, my stress levels hit a peak. My anxiety increased. My blood pressure spiked. I took a three-week “monk retreat” (no internet, media, or smartphone) and reconnected with God…recalibrated my life…reordered my priorities.

During that time, I instituted some changes in my life that have progressively lowered my stress levels…and my blood pressure. Perhaps they could be a help to you as well.

Here is the BEST way to reduce stress levels (with BEST serving as an acronym not as a hyperbolic commercial plug :).

Breathe.

I remember the first time that I started struggling with panic attacks. I read a book by Dr. Archibald Hart called The Anxiety Cure. I was looking for immediate relief and immediate answers…and one of his biggest pieces of advice was to learn to rest, relax, and breath better.

I dismissed it.

When you feel like your heart is racing out of your chest, being told to stop and breathe doesn’t even seem feasible.

But over time, I have come to see breathing, resting, and meditating on God’s Word as essential spiritual disciplines. They may not yield immediate results but they do lead to long-term spiritual health.

Be still and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10a).

The Hebrew word for “be still” is raphah. It pictures a person letting their hands fall down. It is often used negatively in the Old Testament for people becoming slack or lazy or losing courage. But it also has the idea of relaxing, being quiet, letting your shoulders sink, and simply exhaling.

Take a deep breath and exhale.

Rest in God’s sovereignty.

Meditate on His Word.

Meditate on His greatness.

One of the best practices I have instituted in my life is to reserve the “firstfruits” of my day for Bible meditation, prayer, and exercise.

No internet. No media. No emails. No texts. No distractions.

I often simply listen to a portion of Scripture being read, meditate on its words, relax my shoulders, and learn to breathe.

This is not eastern meditation…emptying your mind…but rather biblical meditation…filling your mind with God’s truth.

It is being still each morning and remembering that He is God.

Exercise.

Paul says that bodily exercise profits little but godliness is profitable for all things (1 Timothy 4:8).

Paul puts bodily exercise in its proper perspective. When compared to spiritual growth, physical exercise has limited value…but it still has value!

We are embodied creatures and our physical health impacts our emotional health, mental health, and spiritual health…and vice versa. My body is the temple of the Lord and I want to care for it as much as I am able.

I am not a big “exerciser.” For the most part, I can’t stand it. But I have found that regular walking, times of jogging, and a short routine of exercise are worth the daily discipline.

Each morning (weather permitting), I walk the neighborhood… praying… listening… meditating… worshiping.

Walking is a great stress reliever.

But even if you can’t walk, try to find other ways to exercise your body…and find ways to exercise your mind as well. Read. Study. Learn a language. Pick up a hobby.

These things are infinitely more valuable than other things that we often turn to in times of stress…alcohol, addictions, drugs, binge eating, binge watching, etc.

Surrender.

In dealing with stress and anxiety, one of the hardest things that I had to come to realize was how often it was rooted in pride.

Many of us know the verse… casting all your care (anxiety) upon Him because He cares for you (1 Peter 5:7).

But many of us don’t know the verse right before it… therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time (1 Peter 5:6).

Humbling ourselves before God is learning to cast our cares upon Him.

Thus, when we refuse to cast our cares upon Him, we are in effect saying to God, “I can’t trust You to handle this one. I’ve got it.”

Isn’t it interesting that when we feel stress, it is usually felt in the tightness of our shoulders? It is almost as if we are carrying an invisible load that we were not meant to carry.

Prayer is acknowledgement that we are weak and need God’s strength.

Prayer is realization that we are not in control and God is.

Prayer is surrender to the will of God.

Prayer is saying, “Not my will but Yours be done.”

And praying with others in the midst of your stress is a way of saying, “I don’t have it all together and I need God’s strength…and your encouragement.”

Being vulnerable.

Taking off the mask.

Humbling yourself.

And admitting that, of all things, you are human…a dependent creature made in the image of God…a weak person needing the power of the Spirit…a dysfunctional individual needing the grace and healing of Jesus Christ…just like the rest of us.

Thank.

Many of us who have struggled with anxiety have clutched onto Philippians 4:6-7:

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

This is not a “magic bullet” prayer that instantly removes all worries. Rather it is a daily call to dependence on God in the midst of a corporate…and transparent…fellowship of believers.

And a key component in this anxiety-motivated prayer is thanksgiving.

In your stress and worries…be thankful.

Really?!

One of the hardest challenges for me has been to give thanks in my anxiety…even to give thanks for my anxiety.

I hate anxiety.

I hate the battle.

Sometimes I hate the fact that my body seems to be so out of tune with my mind…or that one part of my mind can be saying, “Calm down! This is crazy!” while another part of my mind can be racing down the road toward all kinds of irrational, out of control, worst-case scenarios.

But…as I look back…my battle with anxiety has deepened my walk with God…it has made me more dependent on the Spirit…it has impassioned my prayer life…it has given me more sympathy and empathy with others…it has humbled me…it has broken me…it has made me more vulnerable…it has made me a better pastor…a better person.

I think of Paul’s words in 2 Corinthians 12.

And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I wish there were a different curriculum. I wish I could learn humility, vulnerability, and transparency in a different way. But, in the end, I think God gives each of us a “thorn in the flesh,” something that we wish wasn’t a part of our lives, for His purpose and our good.

Not out of cruelty…but out of grace.

Learning to say, “I don’t like this, God, but I am going to trust You through it…and not only trust You…but thank You for it” is one of the hardest prayers that you can pray.

Sort of like Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.

Not my will but Yours be done.

Thanking God enlarges our perspective. It reminds us of our blessings. It pulls us out of our self-pity and toward the grace and goodness of God.

Because when I am weak (and not afraid to admit it)…then I am strong.

So in the midst of your stress, anxiety, and uncertainty…

Breathe in God’s peace.

Exercise in God’s strength.

Surrender to God’s will…and…

Thank God for His grace.

Life may be stressful.

But God is good.

And in Christ, we can look toward the future and know that the BEST is still to come.

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