HEELCATCHER

It hit me while I was watching a commercial for a new cell phone.

"It's all about control."

We want to be masters of our own universe. We want the sense that we are in control.

Imagine the power that is supposedly in our hands when we purchase the newest Android or iPhone. We can search anything, watch anything, visit anywhere, almost do anything. "There's an app for that."

It's the ultimate power trip. I have the universe at my fingertips…or at least it feels like it.

The atheistic philosopher Nietzsche summarized human motivation as the "will to power." The drive to achieve, to subdue, to reach a higher state of power and control. He may not have been too far from the truth.

Technology seems to be humanity's attempt to define and determine his or her own environment. The further we go in our technological pursuits, the more we feel like we have things under our control. We have the power to create our own virtual world, to define our own identity, to choose our own morality, to entertain ourselves endlessly, to be our own deity.

But is it real?

All of these things give us the illusion of control…but it is only an illusion.

We are not in control.

And deep down we know it.

We feel it every day. Our health is out of our control. The choices of others are out of our control. The tragedies of life are out of our control. The world and its wars and disasters are out of our control. The reality of death is out of our control. Even our own thoughts and emotions often feel out of our control.

We are weak, powerless, vulnerable mortals…with a desperate hunger for security and control.

Or as Scripture would say…we are glorious creatures, made in the image of God, designed to subdue and rule the earth…but broken, alienated, self-centered, and subject to death because of sin and its devastating impact on our souls.

We want to be our own gods rather than submit to the one true One.

We want God to bow to our will rather than for us to bow to His.

But ironically true freedom doesn't come with all our technology, self-defined morality, and illusion of control.

It comes in running to the Sovereign One who was willing to lay aside His power and position, to humble Himself, to enter our world, to be a servant, and to die for our sins. 

It is the paradox of Truth.

The one who tries to gain control of everything ultimately loses everything.

But the one who gives control over to Jesus Christ gains everything in Him.

Ever felt stuck? Dry? Down? A little depressed? That is sort of where I have been the past few months.

I can't quite put my finger on it. I always wonder…is this physical? Emotional? Mental? Spiritual? We are so complex. Rarely do our emotions sort themselves out easily. The engine of our soul is harder to check than the most complex machinery out there.

That is why David prayed: Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23-24).

God knows us better than we know ourselves. And He sees what we often cannot see…or don't want to see.

Today was the first day that I just stopped and realized that I was functioning not thriving. Doing things but often with little emotion or joy. Focused on duty…lists…accomplishing the next task. But it seemed my spirit was drying up around the edges.

The Lord pried a corner of my heart open today and helped me to see some things.

I am stressed. Putting too many things on my plate. Carrying too many things on my shoulder. The promise of Matthew 11:30 wasn't being experienced in my life. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. But it wasn't the Lord's doing…it was my doing. Assuming that I needed to control what only God can control. I need to let some things go and put them back on the Lord's shoulders.

I am worried. Life is moving fast…faster than I can keep up with. The world is unraveling. The future is uncertain. It was time to acknowledge my fears and rest once again in God's sovereignty.

I am distracted. This was the big kicker. I have filled my life with a hundred little distractions. Email. Texts. The internet. Sports. I have gotten away from what really matters to temporary things. The tyranny of the urgent has replaced the tranquility of the important. I took a walk and realized that I haven't had much time for meditation. I have been running and moving without stopping and reflecting. I have been reading the Bible but not reflecting on it. Praying but not resting.

It is hard in this world. A million distractions hit us every day. Everything in this culture seems aimed at keeping us from stopping and thinking about what we are doing. More, more, more has a way of giving us less, less, less. We are entertained but empty. Saturated with media but starved in our souls.

So it is back to the basics once again. Back to reading and meditating on Scripture. Back to resting more than rushing. Back to journaling, writing, conversing with the Lord. Back to feeling more than functioning. Back to fighting for joy rather than flitting from one distraction to another.

Back to my Father who reminds me that I can accomplish more in His strength than in my own.

Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance (Psalm 42:5).

When a comedian like Robin Williams commits suicide, it certainly wakes you up.

Here is a man who looks like he has it all…success, adoration, wealth, fame. And here is a man who looks like he has a positive view on life. After all, the concept of a "depressed comedian" is a contradiction in terms. We expect that the one who makes us laugh at life can make himself laugh at life as well.

But Robin Williams had a dark side or "demons" to battle, as the world might say.

A lonely childhood. An unsupportive father. Three marriages. Alcohol and drug addiction. A lifelong battle with depression.

Robin Williams was obviously looking for something in this world that he could never find.

C.S. Lewis' once said: "If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world."

And Solomon, a man with all the intelligence, pleasure, and wealth this world can afford, said it quite bluntly: “Absolute futility,” says the Teacher. “Absolute futility. Everything is futile" (Ecclesiastes 1:1).

Robin Williams came to see life in this world in its starkest terms. Futile. Depressing. Lonely. Dark. He gained practically everything that this world could offer and found it to be empty.

Ironically he committed suicide in a place called Paradise Cay.

We don't know what ultimately caused Robin Williams to take his life. The Proverbs say, "The heart knows its own bitterness, and with its joy no one else can share" (14:10). There were probably many factors that led him to that final tragic decision.

We can mourn for him. Pray for his family and children. Take extra care of those around us who may be struggling with their own dark path. And remember how hard life on this earth can be at times.

The Bible does not hide or sugarcoat reality from us. In fact, it teaches us these three basic truths.

1. We are desperately broken. There is something wrong with our hearts. To some degree, we all battle insecurity, loneliness, discouragement, depression. Yes, we can cover over it, ignore it, stuff it, escape it, compensate for it…for a time…and maybe even for a whole lifetime. But the reality is still there. We battle thoughts and desires that threaten to overwhelm us. We struggle with relationships. We fight others. We fight ourselves. We want our own way. We pursue things that ultimately do not satisfy. We want a God who gives us what we want without interfering with our lives. Or we don't want a God at all.

2. We live in a desperately broken world. Something seems haywire. We long for life but find death all around us. We long for peace but find conflict and war. We want time to slow down but it seems to speed up and disappear like a vapor. Hatred. Violence. Oppression. Cancer. Viruses. Natural disasters. Senseless tragedy. Meaningless existence. Something inside of us tell us that things should be different…hopes that things will be different…but in the end death seems to have the final say.

3. We have a Savior who was desperately broken for us and for our world. To the world, it sounds trite. It even sounds like foolishness. But to the believer, it sounds like good news. It sounds like life. Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the worst (1 Timothy 1:15). Jesus bore our sins on the cross to offer us forgiveness, cleansing, reconciliation, freedom from guilt, eternal life. And Jesus rose again from the dead to give us victory, confidence, joy, peace, and hope.

Hope. It is the ultimate antidote to depression and despair.

Hope that the darkness of this life will one day dawn with new light.

Hope that the death of this world will one day be defeated with new life.

Hope that in the sufferings and trials of this life there is still meaning and purpose.

Hope that whoever calls upon the name of the Lord will be saved.

Hope that because of Christ we will one day truly live in Paradise.

Mark this, then, you who forget God, lest I tear you apart, and there be none to deliver! The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies Me; to one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of God! (Psalm 50:22-23)

God issues a stern rebuke and a warning of judgment to the person who forgets Him. And what is the evidence of forgetting God? Quite simply, it is a refusal to glorify Him through thanksgiving.

Notice what God says: "The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies Me." Thus, the converse would also be true: "The one who refuses to offer thanksgiving as his sacrifice does not glorify Me."

Is it possible that the first step away from God is unthankfulness…and the first step back to Him is thankfulness?

Romans 1:21 would agree: For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened.

Think about it for a moment. The first step away from God is unthankfulness.

I am created by God. I am dependent on Him. Everything I have in life is a gift of grace. Every breath is breathed in Him (Acts 17:28). I am owed nothing. I deserve nothing. Yet I refuse to acknowledge Him. I complain that He owes me more. I ignore Him. I run from Him. I go my own way as if I have control of my own life and destiny. 

Are we really that prideful? That ungrateful?

Shakespeare once said, "Worse than a serpent's bite is a thankless child." A loving parent knows this. To love and sacrifice for your children and then have them say, "What else are you going to do for me? I demand more," as if they are owed everything and appreciate nothing, frustrates, angers, and breaks a parent's heart.

How often are we the same way with God?

The first step back to God is to be thankful. 

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

To stop and realize that life is a gift, that I am owed nothing, that because of my sin I only deserve death, that my life is not my own, that my very breath is in God's hands, that every good thing is from Him, is the beginning of true wisdom and life.

Such a realization humbles me and sets my life on the right course. Like the prodigal, I come home. And, according to Psalm 50:23, God shows me His salvation. 

I begin to see life through a new set of lenses…through the lenses of grace.

So take time today to count your blessings, to name them one by one, and tell someone else of the great things that God has done. 

This is thanksgiving. This is joy. And this glorifies God.