Ever felt stuck? Dry? Down? A little depressed? That is sort of where I have been the past few months.
I can't quite put my finger on it. I always wonder…is this physical? Emotional? Mental? Spiritual? We are so complex. Rarely do our emotions sort themselves out easily. The engine of our soul is harder to check than the most complex machinery out there.
That is why David prayed: Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23-24).
God knows us better than we know ourselves. And He sees what we often cannot see…or don't want to see.
Today was the first day that I just stopped and realized that I was functioning not thriving. Doing things but often with little emotion or joy. Focused on duty…lists…accomplishing the next task. But it seemed my spirit was drying up around the edges.
The Lord pried a corner of my heart open today and helped me to see some things.
I am stressed. Putting too many things on my plate. Carrying too many things on my shoulder. The promise of Matthew 11:30 wasn't being experienced in my life. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. But it wasn't the Lord's doing…it was my doing. Assuming that I needed to control what only God can control. I need to let some things go and put them back on the Lord's shoulders.
I am worried. Life is moving fast…faster than I can keep up with. The world is unraveling. The future is uncertain. It was time to acknowledge my fears and rest once again in God's sovereignty.
I am distracted. This was the big kicker. I have filled my life with a hundred little distractions. Email. Texts. The internet. Sports. I have gotten away from what really matters to temporary things. The tyranny of the urgent has replaced the tranquility of the important. I took a walk and realized that I haven't had much time for meditation. I have been running and moving without stopping and reflecting. I have been reading the Bible but not reflecting on it. Praying but not resting.
It is hard in this world. A million distractions hit us every day. Everything in this culture seems aimed at keeping us from stopping and thinking about what we are doing. More, more, more has a way of giving us less, less, less. We are entertained but empty. Saturated with media but starved in our souls.
So it is back to the basics once again. Back to reading and meditating on Scripture. Back to resting more than rushing. Back to journaling, writing, conversing with the Lord. Back to feeling more than functioning. Back to fighting for joy rather than flitting from one distraction to another.
Back to my Father who reminds me that I can accomplish more in His strength than in my own.
Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance (Psalm 42:5).
'May the Lord bless you [and your family],
protect and keep you.
May the Lord smile on you
and be gracious to you.
May the Lord show you his gracious favor
and grant you His peace. ' Numbers 6:24ish
You are loved and prayed for. We need you, Pastor.