13 He [Jacob] spent the night there, and from what he had with him he selected a gift for his brother Esau: 14 two hundred female goats and twenty male goats, two hundred ewes and twenty rams, 15 thirty female camels with their young, forty cows and ten bulls, and twenty female donkeys and ten male donkeys. 16 He put them in the care of his servants, each herd by itself, and said to his servants, “Go ahead of me, and keep some space between the herds.”
17 He instructed the one in the lead: “When my brother Esau meets you and asks, ‘To whom do you belong, and where are you going, and who owns all these animals in front of you?’ 18 then you are to say, ‘They belong to your servant Jacob. They are a gift sent to my lord Esau, and he is coming behind us.’ ”
19 He also instructed the second, the third and all the others who followed the herds: “You are to say the same thing to Esau when you meet him. 20 And be sure to say, ‘Your servant Jacob is coming behind us.’ ” For he thought, “I will pacify him with these gifts I am sending on ahead; later, when I see him, perhaps he will receive me.” 21 So Jacob’s gifts went on ahead of him, but he himself spent the night in the camp. (Genesis 32:13-21)
Jacob gets done praying in verses 9-12 and what does he do? He immediately starts working on Plan C.
Plan A was dividing his camp to minimize his losses. Plan B was praying to God for His protection. Plan C is appeasing Esau with an overly generous gift, given in waves, one after another.
Jacob is pulling out all the stops. He is not used to trusting in God. He knows he should. After all, his grandfather (Abraham) was a great man of faith. And his dad (Isaac) exercised faith at times as well. But this has not been Jacob’s pattern. Jacob has always gotten by in life by using a little craft and deceit, manipulating things, maintaining control. God is just one tool in Jacob’s belt. If He works, great. If not, then it is always good to have a few more tools in the pocket. God is simply a means to an end in Jacob’s mind.
I wonder how often we do the same thing. I wonder how often I do the same thing.
I pray but I don’t really surrender. I call out to God but then quickly run to other solutions. God doesn’t work quite like I want Him to so I turn to other means to get what I want. I use God rather than submit to Him. He is my tool not my Lord.
But God doesn’t bend to my will. Instead He calls me to bend to His.
That is not easy. My pride resists. Deep down, I want my way…on my timetable.
That sinful, selfish heart abides in us all. If it frustrates you when you see it in your kids or in others, then think about how often you do the same thing with God. What we see so clearly in others, we often fail to see in ourselves.
That is why Paul, after looking honestly at his heart, exclaimed, “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God–through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:24-25).
Lord, I wrestle with my own heart. I want to trust You but so often run to other “gods” and plans when things don’t go my way. Teach me to follow Your will not my own. Help me to learn to wait on Your timing and to sense Your leading. Direct me step by step. And thank You for Your grace!
