The day has arrived. I am walking. In regular shoes. Woohoo!
My stride is still not normal. Extending my heel is still difficult so I walk with sort of a hitch. When I slow down my pace, I seem to walk better. But I find it hard to slow down. I never realized that I had such a fast pace…until now…when I can’t go fast.
Monday was my reevaluation during physical therapy. The downward flex of my foot increased from 5 degrees to 45 degrees. I almost have full motion downward. My upward flex (pulling my foot up toward my leg) increased from -20 degrees to 0 degrees. In other words, I can at least keep my foot flat on the ground without too much strain on my Achilles. The side to side motion of my foot is practically back to normal.
Surprisingly the swelling in my foot is exactly the same that it was four weeks ago. The therapist told me that this would simply take time. I thought for sure that I would be able to see my ankle bones clearly by now.
Wednesday I had a check-up with my orthopedic surgeon. He said that everything looked good. The walking boot was now optional. If I wanted to wear regular shoes I could. I took the walking boot off when I got home. I don’t plan on putting it on again. I will probably sell it on ebay.
So yesterday was my first day walking around in regular shoes. The swelling in my ankle makes the left shoe slightly uncomfortable but it feels much better than the moon boot that I was wearing. I feel like life is returning to normal.
Of course, that’s the danger. The surgeon warned me. “This is when re-injury often occurs. Your Achilles is still not totally healed. So be careful what you do. You cannot resume full activity until six months after surgery.”
I understand what he means. As soon as I put on my regular tennis shoes (or sneakers as they say up north), I found myself wanting to get back into the swing of things. I even threw some football passes to my boys later in the afternoon. It was so nice to be able to share that part of life with them again. And even though I was incredibly careful…at times I could see how I could easily forget my situation. One of them throws the football back at me…it is a little high…and something inside of me wants to jump. Thankfully I didn’t.
Knowing your limits. Realizing your weakness. It is often a hard pill to swallow…especially for a man. That’s probably what put me in this situation to begin with.
I am reminded of my favorite Bible verse:
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us (2 Corinthians 4:7).
God has given us the treasure of life, the treasure of grace, the treasure of relationship with Him…in jars of clay. That’s our bodies that he is talking about. We are weak beings, susceptible to tiredness, hunger, injury, sickness, pain, death. We are fragile beings…no matter how many push ups or sit ups or pull ups we can do. One snap of the Achilles can put us on the ground. Why did God do this? Why did He put such glorious life in a weak body? Why did He give such a high calling and great task to a mortal being?
To show that this all surpassing power is from God and not from us.
He made us weak so that we would have to depend on Him.
It is our mortality that drives us to His Son Jesus Christ for eternal life. It is our struggle with temptation and sin that drives us to our knees in need of redemption and grace. And it is our weakness that drives us to His strength.
When I am weak, then I am strong (2 Corinthians 12:10).
