30 Things I Have Learned in 30 Years of Ministry

This month marks my 30th year in full-time ministry as a pastor. Wow…I am getting old!

In May 1990, I moved to New Orleans, LA as a naive, ultra-idealistic, fearful yet slightly over-confident Bible college graduate ready to embark on my first full-time ministry position as youth pastor at Berean Bible Church.

Thirty years later, I am pastoring Community Bible Church in Baton Rouge, LA…about an hour from New Orleans…less naive, much more realistic, a little less fearful yet very aware of my weaknesses, inadequacies, and limitations as a pastor.

As I reflect back on thirty years of ministry, I wrote down thirty things that I have learned along the way. There is no particular order to this list. I simply started writing until I hit #30.

1. Be careful of someone who is too eager to tell you their side of the story. Someone told me to be careful of the first person who comes into your office for counseling when you start a new ministry position. This has proven to be true. When someone is way too eager to make sure you know their side of the story, then they are most likely hiding something and want to get you quickly on their side before all the facts can be known (Proverbs 18:17).
2. Take a day off…and turn off your phone. Ministry has a way of consuming all of your time and mental energy. Make sure to take a day off…and to stay away from the phone and emails.
3. People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. A wise old friend told me this when I began ministry in New Jersey. He was oh so right. To be an effective teacher, you need to be a loving pastor first.
4. God will break you to use you. The pattern in Scripture is clear. Before God could use Joseph, He had to break him. Before God could use Moses, He had to break him. Before God could use Peter, He had to break him. Until our self-sufficiency and pride are gone, we will not depend on God’s Spirit. God uses broken vessels for His glory. When we are weak, then we are strong.
5. Teach with your life more than your words. I used to think that people would remember all the great lessons I taught and sermons I preached. Instead I found out that most people can’t remember what you taught…but they remember how you lived.
6. Guard your heart and your eyes. Proverbs 4:23 tells us to guard our hearts with all vigilance because out of it flows everything else that we do. And in 1 Timothy 4:16, Paul tells young Timothy to “keep a close watch on yourself and on your teaching.” We fail and we fall when allow little sins to creep into our heart and then start covering them up.
7. Be vulnerable. None of us are fully formed in Christ. None of us have “arrived.” All of us need grace. And it is the security of grace that allows us to be honest with ourselves and vulnerable with others. The opposite of vulnerability is superficiality. God won’t work deep in our hearts when we insist on putting on a veneer of fake spirituality.
8. You can’t change anyone. When I began ministry, I thought I could change the world. Over time, I realized it was hard enough to change myself…and impossible to change others. The best we can do for others is love them, pray for them, and point them to Jesus. We are care givers but only He is the cure giver.
9. Be compassionate…everyone you meet is fighting their own battle. Life is hard and everyone has fears that they hide, sins that they battle, and wounds that they are trying to heal. Even behind anger is a heart that is fearful or wounded in some way. So look past the outward masks and personas and ask God for wisdom to see another’s heart.
10. Fight for joy. Joy has always been the barometer in my life. When my life and ministry lack joy, then I know something has gotten off track in my mind or my heart. Joy is the “serious business of heaven.” It is our strength. It is the fruit of the Spirit. It is the will of God for us. It is our birthright as believers. Let us fight each day to be thankful and joyful in Christ. Like the psalm writers, sometimes you just have to praise your way out of the pit.
11. Reserve mornings for God. Life has a way of hitting you early in the morning. Every day I am tempted to jump right into the responsibilities that overload my calendar. Instead I am learning the secret of giving the “firstfruits” of the day to God. Reserve the first minutes or hours of each day for Him…read, meditate, pray, exercise, worship…and then let the rest of the day fall as it may.
12. Seek understanding before reaching a conclusion. Many times I have reacted wrongly or judged someone prematurely because I failed to take time to listen before I reached a conclusion. James’ advice would save a whole lot of heartache if we followed it daily: Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God (James 1:19-20).
13. Love people where they are…not where you want them to be. It is too easy to get frustrated with other people…particularly in areas of life where we are strong and don’t seem to struggle. But God calls us to love people where they are…and even to be willing to stoop down and wash their feet. After all, that’s what He did for us.
14. Strengthen your marriage. The strength of my marriage will impact the long-term strength of my ministry. My first priority as a pastor is to love my wife and lead my family well. For if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? (1 Timothy 3:5)
15. See the beauty of the church even in all of its messiness. I have been in church ministry long enough to see the “warts,” scars, and blemishes of the “bride of Christ.” We can get off track complaining, blaming, gossiping, grumbling, demeaning, dividing, wounding, and hurting others. Yet somehow God still loves us. And He teaches us how to love others, as He has loved us, by putting us in a local church with other imperfect people. What can feel ugly at times is actually the beauty of the church.
16. Don’t let your children regret being PK’s. I remember someone telling me before the birth of my first son, “You know that pastor’s kids are always the worst ones in the church.” It was not a well-timed, encouraging statement from a fellow brother in Christ (see #15 above). But I was determined to put my family first and to make sure that my boys never lamented the fact that I was in ministry. That was a good choice.
17. Take vacation time. It is often hard to pull away from ministry. The needs of people never go on a vacation so sometimes it is hard for pastors to take one. But I am learning more and more how vital it is to rest. We often have to “be still” in order to truly know that He is God (Psalm 46:10).
18. Take a sabbatical. In line with the above, every pastor needs an extended time of rest after many years of service. Ministry has a tendency to produce a slow drain on your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual energy…and without a recharge, you will eventually crash.
19. Focus on faithfulness not success. In our image culture, it is too easy to look for success in outward factors. However, God calls us to faithfulness not success. We are called to plant and water…only He can bring the increase (1 Corinthians 3:7).
20. Avoid comparisons. Wow, this is so much easier said than done! With the advent of instant information and communication, we are exposed to every ministry, church, and pastor around the world. It is hard not to see the outward successes of others and to feel your own inadequacy. Almost daily I have to remind myself that God has not called me to be someone else…but to be the person He has created me and redeemed me to be…and to minister faithfully within the sphere He has given me.
21. Exercise regularly. Yes, bodily exercise only profits a little compared to godliness (1 Timothy 4:8). But it still has a profit! Our bodies are the temple of God. It is hard to minister effectively when our bodies are neglected or broken down. Taking care of our physical bodies is a spiritual discipline.
22. Learn to breathe. Stress and anxiety are realities in ministry…or at least they have been for me! Stopping, resting, exhaling, and casting my cares upon Him have been a growing daily necessity in my ministry life.
23. Don’t take yourself too seriously. When I am honest, I realize that most of my anxiety can be traced back to pride. I am trying to bear on my shoulders that which only God can bear. I am trying to be a “mini-messiah.” I am thinking that I have to manage and control the universe. I am doubting and usurping God’s sovereignty. Learning to laugh at yourself and your weaknesses can be a freeing exercise. Isn’t it amazing that God chooses…and prefers to work through…cracked pots? (1 Corinthians 1:26-31)
24. Keep the main thing the main thing. Just about everyone in the church has an opinion on how the church should operate…and usually they don’t hesitate to tell the pastor! If you don’t have laser focus on the gospel of Christ and on making disciples for Him, then you will easily be tossed to and fro by every opinion, fad, political issue, and church program that floods the market.
25. Keep learning. Always be teachable…always be learning. Read books, listen to podcasts, take classes…do whatever it takes to keep growing in your faith and to keep sharpening your ax (Ecclesiastes 10:10).
26. Serve on a team. One of things that I have learned in ministry is that I don’t want to minister alone. I am so thankful for the elders that I have served with in church ministry. I can remember each one…and each one has taught me something about myself, about the Lord, and about ministry. We were not meant to serve alone.
27. Be a peacemaker. It is all about relationships…and relationships are downright difficult! Live long enough and you will have plenty of opportunities to be hurt, wounded, neglected, forgotten, offended, and betrayed. Since ministry is people-intensive, then the chances of being hurt as a pastor are even greater. Learn to bear with others. Learn to forgive. Learn to say you are sorry. Learn to seek reconciliation. Learn to be a peacemaker…and to be called a “son of God” (Matthew 5:9).
28. Be a discipler. Invest in people. Be a Paul to a Timothy. Just about every young man is looking for someone to affirm them, love them, pray for them, encourage them, and help them develop into the man God created them to be.
29. Don’t expect quick results…we are growing trees not weeds. I often wish that ministry and discipleship yielded quick, tangible results. Sometimes you see radical changes in people but more often than not people grow slowly…with lots of stumbles and falls. Our eternal God is not in a hurry…and He teaches us patience and grace through the long process of discipleship.
30. Love God and love others! Don’t over-complicate ministry. Love is the foundation. Love is the measure. Love is the goal (1 Corinthians 13). It is in contemplating the abundant, incomprehensible love of Christ that we are filled with all the fullness of God (Ephesians 3:19). Saturate yourself in the grace of God every day and let His grace ooze out of your pores. That is the secret of ministry.

Please follow and like us: