Finding Peace in an Angry, Anxious, Crazy World

We live in the “age of anxiety.” We all feel it to a certain degree.

A sense that the world is out of control. An awareness that our own emotions are often out of control.

We long for peace. Inner peace. An inner sanctum. A feeling of security.

But the waves of the world keep flooding into our makeshift mental havens.

How do you find peace in the midst of a crazy world?

First, we must understand what true peace is.

Peace is relational by nature. It can’t be found in an individual, isolated, self-focused pursuit.

Peace with God…flows into peace with others…bringing peace within.

Inner peace is a by-product of relational peace.

We were created for relationship…relationship with God and relationship with others…and peace, wholeness, shalom is found when these relationships are in proper order.

Of course, many people are willing to grant that relationships with others are vitally important. But some will balk at the notion that relationship with God is somehow necessary.

But the problem with our human relationships originates in our wills. We quite simply don’t like submitting to another person. We want our own way…and we want others to bow to our needs…our opinions…our wants…our desires.

Just watch a two-year old and you will see the naked human heart in operation.

I want. I cry. I whine.

To get my way.

The battle of wills is the hidden war behind our conflicts.

So what breaks the impasse? Who submits? Who yields their will?

Two people under submission to a higher authority…both yielded…both aware of their limitations, their creatureliness…both on equal footing in humility…are in the best position to yield to one another.

For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. (James 3:16-17a)

So first I kneel my will before God…then I learn to yield my will with others.

This is the beginning of peace.

Not to say that all this is easy.

I have had my own battles with anxiety. Still do. But I am learning more and more about myself in the battle.

Hard to admit…but there is an element of pride in my anxiety. I fear failure before others. I fear appearing weak. I fear my own inadequacy. I fear being exposed…as weak, frail, limited, mortal…which ironically is the very thing I am.

So I tend to run to self-made props of adequacy…or to entertaining distractions…or to false masks before others…or to things that promise to numb the feelings of feebleness…

To things that promise peace.

But can’t deliver.

Because they are running in exactly the opposite direction of the place of peace.

Surrender before God.

Vulnerability with others.

Jesus gave the invitation to peace two thousand years ago.

He invited us into rest…into serenity…into security.

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)

The yoke is the symbol of submission.

It is putting your life under the authority of another.

But this One is not a slave driver.

But a God of humility. A God of grace. A God of love.

A God with nail-pierced hands.

And in His arms…humble…yielded…vulnerable…we finally find rest.

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Confession #5 – The Strange Gift of Dysfunction

I grew up in a good home. I absolutely love my family. But we had our share of dysfunction at times. Conflict avoidance. Difficulty expressing deeper thoughts or emotions. Unspoken tension and disagreements. Relational distance.

Church life also had its problems. What should have been a place of mutual acceptance, honest exhortation, vulnerable humility, and practiced forgiveness was often a place of superficiality, feigned spirituality, offended sensibilities, and an inability to model the love of Christ. Watching a church argue and split over minor issues and personality clashes impacted my young faith. Seeing abuse in a church…which was subsequently ignored and swept under the rug…still causes me to wonder, “How in the world could a church let that happen? And what in the world were they thinking when they chose to act like it never happened?”

Looking back, the mistakes, failures, and sins seem obvious…avoidable…correctable.

But then I realize I am guilty of my own share of mistakes, failures, and sins.

Here is a revelation that is hard to deny.

We all suffer from the dysfunction of our past. And we all contribute to the dysfunction of our present.

The wounds that we have received are real…and often deep. But the wounds we create…often in our own woundedness or self-righteous sense of justified anger…can often be as real and deep to others.

I am reminded of the words of Miroslav Volf in his excellent book, Exclusion and Embrace, which revisits his own experience in the Croatian-Serbian War:

To break the world cleanly into victims and violators ignores the depths of each person’s participation in cultural sin. There simply are no innocents.

If victims do not repent today they will become perpetrators tomorrow who, in self-deceit, will seek to exculpate their misdeeds on account of their own victimization.

As I look back on my own past, I see much to be thankful for…and much to lament. I wish some parts were different. I wish I could rewrite the script on many experiences. I wish I could get past many of the fears, anxieties, and thought patterns that I developed as a child.

But in another way…in a strange way…in an almost paradoxical way…I am thankful for the dysfunction.

I am thankful that I can see it as dysfunction. It motivates me to change.

I am also thankful that it opened me up to explore my heart….to ask deeper questions…to see my own brokenness…to seek help…and to develop a sensitivity to others with similar wounds and pains.

We are all broken people…not functioning as we ought…learning to grow…needing grace…waiting for full redemption.

Isn’t it a gift to realize that?

David, after the biggest failure and sin in his own life, wrote a heart-wrenching, honest confession in Psalm 51. I have always been fascinated by verses 5-6.

Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
And in sin my mother conceived me.
Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts,
And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.

David wants us to stop and “behold” two truths.

One, we are all dysfunctional, selfish, sinful from the moment we are born. We can blame our environment, family, upbringing, church, culture, or even God….but in the end our own hearts have a problem that we cannot fix…and our own thoughts, words, and actions contribute to the messes that we often find ourselves in. Denial, blameshifting, bitterness, and self-righteousness only add to the mess and the pain…and keep us from finding wholeness and healing.

Two, God desires us to be honest with ourselves. Self-confrontation and humble confession are…quite simply…powerful. They remove the illusions of invincibility and the masks of perfection and bring us face-to-face with our own weaknesses and failures. From here we are finally in a position to receive grace and extend grace.

But there is a second part to the equation. Not only does God desire honesty in our “inward parts” but He also gives us insight and wisdom into the “hidden part.” Perhaps this is just Hebrew poetry repeating the same principle. But I tend to see something deeper here…more profound…more revealing.

In each of us there is an “inward part,” the part that we are aware of but that we often hide from others. Being honest here is the first step toward vulnerability and authenticity.

But in each of us there is also a “hidden part,” the part of us that even we do not understand. Like an iceberg, there is a whole mass of hidden motivations, wounds, hurts, offenses, thought patterns, idols that lie deep within our hearts. Behind our anger, anxiety, and depression is often something that we simply cannot see. Ironically even the most self-aware person isn’t aware of all their self.

It is here…in these hidden areas…that God grants wisdom…as we learn to submit to Him and listen for His still, small voice.

And it is here that true healing needs to take place.

And what motivates us to seek this healing?

Difficulty. Pain. Relational conflict. Panic attacks. Wounds. Hurts. Hitting a wall. Even hitting rock bottom.

Unless the pain of where you are is greater than the pain of facing yourself and seeking change, then you will probably never change.

Here is where dysfunction becomes a gift.

It is the pain that motivates you toward healing.

It is the brokenness that leads you toward wholeness.

It is the darkness that points you toward the Light.

For You do not desire sacrifice, or else I would give it;
You do not delight in burnt offering.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,
A broken and a contrite heart—
These, O God, You will not despise. (Psalm 51:16-17)

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Wonder #5 – The Power of Music

Something to chew on…

Music is a universal language. It is found in all cultures…is based on similar sounds…bonds groups together…and produces intense emotions in all who hear.

Who hasn’t had the experience of singing the lyrics of a song they haven’t heard in 10-20 years?

Who hasn’t heard a song and had a flood of memories and emotions saturate their soul?

Music is powerful…and the benefits of singing are numerous. Music lessens feelings of loneliness and depression, helps alleviate anxiety, and increases satisfaction and the quality of life. Some studies have even indicated that our heart rates actually sync up when we are singing together in a group.

Amazing.

We seem to be designed for music.

Sociologists have found that all cultures sing lullabies to their babies and that all babies like certain kinds of sounds (harmonious ones rather than dissonant ones). Music seems to reside deep in our souls…from the time we are born.

Evolutionary biologists wonder why. From an evolutionary standpoint, music seems to be “auditory cheesecake”—it makes us happy without any real survival benefits. Others suggest that music was simply about attracting a good mate or even bonding larger groups together while they picked fleas off each other.

But the power of music begs for a higher answer.

We were created to sing…by a God who sings.

Roughly one-third of the Bible is written in poetic language…with rhythm…with harmonious sounds. The largest book in the Bible is Psalms. And the first words out of Adam’s mouth were poetic. When he saw Eve, he literally sang.

When the Spirit of God fills us, we sing.

And when Christ finally reigns on this earth, all creation will sing. Not just us…but apparently the animals will join in as well.

So the next time you find yourself singing with the music…remember your Creator…and use your breath to proclaim His praise.

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Confession #4 – Anxiety Is a Battle

I remember my first bout with panic attacks. I felt like I was drowning on dry land as wave after wave of anxiety hit me.

It was a horrible experience. Feeling out of control. Fighting your own mind. Trying to catch your breath. Struggling to keep your head above the waves.

I wasn’t expecting it. I had counseled people with panic attacks. I had preached sermons on overcoming anxiety. I had a strong grasp on Scripture and theology…and seemingly I had control of my own thoughts.

But the waves hit me anyway.

It is wild to know that your thoughts are crazy and irrational…and yet be unable to stop them.

It is humbling to know that you are not in control.

If you have never had panic attacks, be thankful…and be sympathetic toward those who have.

If you have had panic attacks, take courage…there is hope after the storms.

My first battles with anxiety began when I was young. I was always a little nervous as a kid. My imaginative personality lent itself to an introspective life…an awareness of my mortality…and an ability to imagine the worst case scenario…often in vivid colors. But anxiety was more like an annoying little brother than a dominant taskmaster. I worked through it…avoided stressful situations…fed off adrenaline when necessary…and poured myself into activities in which I could succeed.

But as I got older, anxiety seemed to grow too. There was more on the line. The stakes were raised. Failure had greater ramifications…on me…on my family…on others who depended on me.

When the panic attacks finally hit me, they forced me to take inventory…to dig deeper…to face my fears…to face myself.

In the past fifteen years I have seen periods of weakness and times of victory in my battle with anxiety. But whether I was winning the battle or losing it, I still experienced growth in my life. God humbled me. He crippled me. He put me on my knees. Not to harm me…but to bless me. To heal me. To remake me in His image.

I believe at our core…we all have fear.

We are small, mortal, vulnerable individuals living in a massive, dangerous, sin-impacted world. Behind our masks of toughness and images of invincibility are the realities of our weakness. We can deny it, downplay it, hide it, fight it, medicate it, or compensate for it…but it is still there.

And it should be there…if we are rational creatures willing to take an honest inventory of our situation.

The Bible presents fear as the primary emotion of Adam and Eve after they sinned against God (Genesis 3:10).

Behind our shame is fear of exposure.

Behind our guilt is fear of consequences.

Behind our anger is fear of loss of control.

Behind our sorrow is fear of loss itself.

And, of course, behind our anxiety is fear itself…unmasked…unveiled…unchecked.

In battling anxiety, I have learned that the victory doesn’t come in denying fear but in exploring it…exposing it…admitting it…and putting your trust in something greater…Someone greater.

Anxiety used to be my annoying little brother…then it became my relentless taskmaster…now it is becoming my toughest teacher.

It is teaching me to be honest with myself…and with others.

It is teaching me to depend on the Spirit each and every day…and not on myself.

It is teaching me to change my habits…to learn to rest…to eat better…to think better…to breathe better.

It is teaching me that we are body-soul-spirit creatures…and that true healing involves all three.

It is teaching me to be compassionate…to love mercy…to embrace weakness.

It is teaching me to look higher…hope further…go deeper.

It is teaching me to fear God…as the antidote to all other fears.

“He who fears God has nothing else to fear.” (Charles Spurgeon)

Anxiety is a battle…but the battle is the Lord’s (1 Samuel 17:47).

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Wonder #4 – You Are Mostly Empty Space

Something to chew on…

Everything around you…everything that you see…even the chair that you are sitting in…is mostly empty space. There’s nothing much to them. Barely enough “matter” to call them “matter.”

“Solid matter, the floor upon which we stand and the foundation that bears the weight of a skyscraper, is actually empty space. If we could scale the center of an atom, the nucleus, up to four inches, the surrounding electron cloud would extend to four miles away and essentially all the breach between would be marvelously empty. The solidity of iron is actually 99.9999999999999% startingly vacuous space made to feel solid by ethereal fields of force having no material reality at all.” (Gerald Schroeder, Ph.D. from MIT)

As you look at “solid objects,” what you are actually “seeing” is energy being held together with marvelous, incomprehensible order and power.

Even your own body is mostly empty space. If you were to compress the empty space out of the entire population of the earth…all 7.5 billion of us…then we could all fit into the size of sugar cube.

We aren’t as big as we think we are.

And the things we call “solids” are not as solid as we think we are.

Everything in this universe…including yourself…is energy…held together…created…ordered…sustained…by an ethereal power that no one can fully understand or explain.

“That all existence may be the expression of information, an idea, a quantum wave function, is not fantasy… It is mainstream science coming from such universities as Princeton and MIT.” (Schroeder)

A Power…a Word…greater than all things sustains reality.

“In the beginning was the Word [Logos], and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made.” (John 1:1-3)

“All things have been created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.” (Colossians 1:16b-17)

“The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact expression of His nature, sustaining all things by His powerful word. After making purification for sins, He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high.” (Hebrews 1:3)

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