21 Days of Monk-dom

Posted on April 11, 2019 by Steve Foster

I recently returned from a 21 day “monk retreat.” It wasn’t stringent monk-dom. I ate well (more than bread and water)…slept in a nice bed (no horsehair mats)…and still talked and interacted with people (no vow of silence). But based on 21st-century life, it was a drastic change of pace. No phone. No internet. No emails. No media. It was basically me, my Bible, and my journal.

I went to Abbie Lane Retreat Center in Coushatta, Louisiana. It is in a remote location in the middle of 80 acres of pine trees. The retreat center is designed for pastors who need time away with the Lord. The cabin is small but comfortable with a small kitchen, sitting area, desk, and outdoor porch. Walking trails, prayers gardens, and a chapel offer opportunities for worship, solitude, and connection with God.

My goals were pretty straightforward. Rest. Enjoy time with the Lord. Read through the Bible. Journal. Write. Reflect. And de-tox from constant media distractions.

I wanted God to meet me where I am in my life…refresh my soul…remind me of His abundant grace…recalibrate me.

And He did.

Here are five things that I learned from the experience.

1. There is a lot more time in the day than we realize.

The first day I woke up without any pressing sense of responsibility. I had the whole day to spend time alone with the Lord. I began at 6am reading through a Chronological Bible (a Bible arranged historically from Genesis to Revelation). After an hour of reading, I stopped, reflected, and prayed. Then I went for a long prayer walk, using some of the prayer gardens to spur my mind toward prayer. When I returned to the cabin it was around 9am. I remember thinking, “Wow, now what do I do?!” The three hours of reading, reflecting, and praying were incredibly refreshing but the day was only beginning and I had nothing else on my agenda. I thought to myself, “This is going to be the longest 21 days of my life!”

When there are no responsibilities on your plate and no distractions vying for your time, twenty-four hours can feel like a small dose of eternity.

2. We complain about responsibilities and distractions but actually like them.

Sitting there on the first day with extended opportunities of “free time” made me hunger to check my phone, check some emails, read some articles online, watch some sports, or do something to “fill the time.” I felt like I needed a break…when I was already on a break! I had a craving for distraction. I realized that, in many ways, I was experiencing a “media de-tox.” I don’t consider myself “addicted” to media. I set pretty good limits on my online time. I rarely watch TV except for sports. I am not a big movie buff. But having access to instant information has almost become an addiction to me. If a thought strikes my mind, something inside says, “Let me look that up on Google.” I want to check weather, check sports scores, see the latest news headlines, answer the endless list of emails. I hunger for information…even when it is fairly useless information.

Blaise Pascal, a brilliant French mathematician and a committed believer in Christ, once said, “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” I am not sure what inspired him to say it but he certainly touched on something deep in our souls. We complain about distractions but then seek them out with abandon. We complain about not having time to ourselves but then pack our schedules and our time to make sure we don’t have it.

To sit quietly alone is to sit quietly with oneself. To listen to one’s own thoughts. To deal with one’s own fears. To reflect on one’s own life. The inner quiet can be unsettling. You cannot run away from yourself. You have to live with yourself. And sometimes you simply aren’t quite sure what to do with yourself. Endless distractions and responsibilities keep all that inner angst at bay.

3. It takes forty hours to read through the whole Bible.

With time on hand, I decided to read through the Bible in those twenty-one days. I generally read in one-hour chunks, giving myself time to reflect, pray, journal, and process afterward. I kept track of my reading time because I was curious how long it would take to read from Genesis to Revelation. The answer…for me…reading at an average pace with time for underlining and writing small notes in the margins…was forty hours. Actually 39 hours and 16 minutes to be more exact.

It was quite a journey. The chronological Bible was different enough to make it feel like I was reading the Bible in a fresh way. It was neat to read through David’s life and then stop to read the Psalms that he wrote during these times…or to read the book of Acts and then have Paul’s epistles placed in Acts’ chronological timeline. Reading through the genealogies was still a challenge. I know they are important but the names start blurring together after awhile. And some of the historical and prophetic material was still hard to understand. The refreshment for me came in the wisdom literature of the Old Testament (Psalms, Proverbs, Job, Ecclesiastes) and in the gospels and Paul’s epistles in the New Testament.

Through it all, I was reminded again of how messed up God’s people were at so many times in their history…and yet God remained faithful, patient, and abundantly gracious. We are all messed up to some degree and, if we are honest, we will see ourselves throughout the Bible…and have ample opportunity to praise God for His grace in Jesus Christ.

4. God is enough.

The first few days did seem like an eternity. It took me awhile to gain a new rhythm to life. But by about the fourth day, I began each day with anticipation and excitement. Reading. Praying. Exercising. Drinking a smoothie. Walking. Writing. Eating lunch. Resting. Making a nice afternoon coffee. Writing. Eating dinner. Reading. Praying. Journaling. Sleep. I built in other breaks along the way. Driving to Natchitoches for some grocery shopping and walking along the river. Driving to Bossier City and eating at a Johnny’s pizza buffet for lunch (and I admit, catching some of the scores of March Madness). And playing nine holes of golf at the Coushatta Country Club (inappropriately named for a local municipal course with weedy fairways and grassy traps).

But most of my time was with the Lord. Allowing myself to know Him, praise the beauty of His creation, and rejoice in His grace. Reading through the Bible gave me a chance to hear His voice…not as a teacher or shepherd but as a sheep needing His Spirit to speak to my heart. Walking through the nature trails and prayer gardens gave me a chance to reflect on His Word and on His hand in my life. Writing gave me a chance to express my thoughts to Him and remember events in my life that I had forgotten.

I found peace…I found rest…I found joy in Him.

He is enough.

5. I am not a monk.

The time with the Lord was needed. The time alone was needed. The time without media was needed. But I am not planning to retreat from this world and live in a monastery any time soon. At times that kind of solitude seems enticing…even entrancing. But it is only one aspect of life…only one aspect of relationship with God. We need others. We need interaction. We need to be involved in ministering to others, relating to others, worshiping with others, dealing with each other’s problems, failures, and “stinky, dirty feet” (John 13). And even media has a place in the overall enjoyment of life. Though I missed most of March Madness, it was fun to come back and watch the Final Four and the national championship. There are good things in life to enjoy…and it is good to enjoy them.

The key is balance…finding a healthy rhythm to life. Giving God your mornings (or whatever time is best for you) without media, without distractions. Putting limits on your phone. Setting aside a Sabbath day each week to reconnect with God and with others in your family. Protecting the priorities of your life. Working on your relationships. Maintaining physical health. Finding activities that refresh your soul. Taking notice of the glories and beauties of God that are all around you.

Bottom line…you are not in control of this life.

The rotation of the earth does not depend on you.

The sustenance of your own life is even outside of your control.

The world will still go on if you turn off the news, stop reading the paper, and don’t know all the latest headlines.

So don’t waste your life worried about that which is outside of your control.

Instead rest in Him.

Live each day for His glory.

And find a reason to give thanks today.

That is the secret of a life well lived.

With or without a monastery.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).

Posted in Random Thoughts | 8 Comments

The Cross Tests Everything

Posted on April 8, 2019 by Steve Foster

Crux probat omnia.

“The cross tests everything.”

Martin Luther wrote these words. The cross defined his theology…defined his life.

And the cross defines our lives as well.

What you think about the cross of Christ says everything about you.

Either you are convinced that life is all about you…that there is no God…or that you are god…or that spirituality is some brand of esoteric knowledge…along with mystical practices…and being contemplative and one with the universe…or just being good…or being your good ol’ religious self…

Or you recognize your desperate need for a Savior…for the cross.

The four Gospels focus on the cross of Christ. Everything leads up to the cross. Jesus’ birth…miracles…teachings…healings…parables…actions… all point forward to His death. His sacrificial life was the precursor to His sacrificial death.

John’s Gospel begins with the declaration that defines Jesus’ life.

Behold! The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world! (John 1:29)

Matthew’s Gospel reminds us that the very name of Jesus points to the necessity of the cross.

You shall call His name Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins (Matthew 1:21b).

Christianity is the cross. Take away the cross and all you have is another religion.

For I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified (1 Corinthians 2:2).

The bodily resurrection of Jesus is the ultimate proof of Christianity. The cross is Christianity’s content…its message.

The crucifixion is the touchstone of Christian authenticity, the unique feature by which everything else, including the resurrection, is given its true significance. …It is the crucifixion that marks out Christianity as something definitively different in the history of religion. It is in the crucifixion that the nature of God is truly revealed. …The crucifixion is the most important historical event that has ever happened. (Fleming Rutledge)

Whatever you want to say about Christianity, it is not like other religions. There is no other event like the cross. There is no other person like the Crucified Savior…the Lamb of God.

Clearly, the cross is what separates the Christ of Christianity from every other Jesus. In Judaism there is no precedent for a Messiah who dies, much less as a criminal as Jesus did. In Islam, the story of Jesus’ death is rejected as an affront to Allah himself. Hindus can accept only a Jesus who passes into peaceful samadhi, a yogi who escapes the degradation of death. The figure of the crucified Christ, says Buddhist Thich Nhat Hanh, “is a very painful image to me. It does not contain joy or peace, and this does not do justice to Jesus.” There is, in short, no room in other religions for a Christ who experiences the full burden of mortal existence–and hence there is no reason to believe in him as the divine Son whom the Father resurrects from the dead. (Kenneth Woodward, Newsweek, March 26, 2000)

The central event of Christianity is too offensive and too much against the grain of religious thought as we know it to have emerged out of human religious imagination, no matter how philosophically subtle or humanly moving that religion might be. (Fleming Rutledge)

Every other religion is based on our attempt to reach God…to appease Him…to show ourselves to be good…redeemable. We inherently like those kind of religions. They speak “good things” about us…about our abilities…about our knowledge…about our “spirituality.” We like feeling pretty special about ourselves…especially about feeling more spiritual and knowledgeable than the next guy.

The cross shatters all of this gnostic spiritual elitism.

There is no spiritual hierarchy.

There are only sinners in need of grace.

The cross by its very nature is a skandalon. It confronts us…it offends us…it humbles us…it calls us to make a decision. Either the Man on the cross is my Substitute or he is just a man who died a criminal’s death on a Roman cross for no apparent reason. Either the cross is the most important event in human history or it is just an odd blip on the page that deserves no real notice.

Either the cross of Christ is my salvation or I am my own salvation.

But God forbid that I should boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world (Galatians 6:14).

Crux probat omnia.

“The cross tests everything.”

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Grace & Truth

Posted on January 1, 2019 by Steve Foster

“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.” (John 1:14)

Consider who Jesus is based on John 1:1-18 alone. He is the eternal Word in eternal relationship with God. He is the Creator of the universe, the Life Giver, the Light Bearer, the Savior of humanity, God in the flesh, the only begotten Son of God.

Jesus is also the perfect revelation of God’s glory, full of grace and truth.

Grace and truth. Isn’t that what we need for 2019?

Truth. To see reality as it really is. To see life from God’s perspective. To not be deceived or misled by lies. To be able to navigate through this confusing, chaotic, noisy world with a clarity of thought and direction. To have a true north that guides us each step of the way.

Grace. To be loved with an everlasting love. To be forgiven. To be saturated with God’s mercy and kindness. To know that you are accepted in the Beloved, known, redeemed, adopted, embraced. To know that you are not condemned but welcomed into God’s family…given the right to be His child. Forever regenerated. Forever secure. Forever loved.

This is what it means to live for God’s glory in 2019. To know truth. To know grace. To walk in truth. To walk in grace. To speak truth. To show grace.

As believers, we often tend to be truth speakers without much grace or grace givers who water down the truth. But, when we are walking in step with the Spirit and becoming more and more like Christ, then we will manifest God’s glory through a life that speaks the truth of God while abounding in the grace, kindness, and compassion of God.

May God equip us in 2019 to live for His glory and impact this hurting, sin-infested world with the good news of Jesus Christ!

Posted in John Devotionals | Leave a comment

Logos

Posted on December 7, 2018 by Steve Foster

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God (John 1:1).

The Word.

In the Greek language, Logos.

Greek philosophy believed in the order of the universe. Everything was in its proper place. Everything moved in precision and purpose.

The universe in its entirety is “well-made”: from the regular movement of the planets down to the tiniest organisms. We can therefore say that the structure of the universe is not merely “divine” and perfect of itself, but also “rational,” consonant with what the Greeks termed the Logos, which exactly describes this admirable order of things. (Philosopher Luc Ferry, A Brief History of Thought)

The Logos was the “soul of the universe,” the “all-pervasive mind” that controlled and guided all things.

Almost like “The Force” in Star Wars.

Powerful. Rational. Universal.

But not personal.

The Greeks could look up into the skies or down at the earth and see the incredible order of the universe.

Everything operates like clockwork.

Right now, as I type, we are standing on the side of a sphere rotating at ~1000 miles per hour, orbiting around the sun at ~67,000 miles per hour, hurtling through space at ~500,000 miles per hour.

Can you really fathom that?

Are you in control of that?

Looking deeper into the atomic level of our universe, we find that the vast majority of our world is empty space.

Solid matter, the floor upon which we stand and the foundation that bears the weight of a skyscraper, is actually empty space. If we could scale the center of an atom, the nucleus, up to four inches, the surrounding electron cloud would extend to four miles away and essentially all the breach between would be marvelously empty. The solidity of iron is actually 99.9999999999999 percent startingly vacuous space made to feel solid by ethereal fields of force having no material reality at all. Hollywood would have rejected such a script out of hand and yet it is the proven reality. But don’t knock your head against that space. Force fields can feel very solid. (Physicist Gerald Schroeder, The Hidden Face of God)

Stop and think about it.

The chair you are sitting on, the floor you are supported by, the body you are residing in are mostly empty space held together by a powerful, ethereal energy that physicists cannot fully explain or understand.

There is a Universal Power and Mind holding everything together, including you, right now.

The Greeks called this incredible, all-controlling force “the Logos.”

Now re-read John 1.

In the beginning was the Logos, and the Logos was with God, and the Logos was God.

Okay, the Greeks could mesh with that. In their minds, the Logos was divine, even if it wasn’t personal.

He was in the beginning with God.

Now the Greeks would start to object. “Wait a second, the Logos is a ‘He,’ a personal pronoun?”

All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made.

“Okay, everything owes its existence to the Logos but why are you still calling it by a personal pronoun?”

In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it.

“Yes, I know the Logos gives life and light but what kind of Logos are you talking about?”

And the Logos became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.

“WHAT?!”

At this point, the Greek reading John’s words would be shocked, dismayed, upset.

“How can the Logos take on flesh?”

“Who is this Logos?”

John would say, “Glad that you asked.” And invite the questioner to continue reading his gospel account.

The Logos is Jesus.

The One holding the universe together right now…the One holding you together right now…is Jesus Christ.

He is eternal. He is in eternal fellowship with God the Father. He is equal with God.

He is the Creator, the Sustainer, the Life Giver, the Light Bearer.

He is the baby born in Bethlehem.

This changes everything.

There is a God. He is personal. He is powerful. And He has spoken…through His Word.

And His message to us is full of grace and truth.

“You are broken.”

“You are loved.”

“I can make you whole.”

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OCD

Posted on December 6, 2018 by Steve Foster

I like things a certain way. I guess all of us do to some degree.

But at times I can become obsessive.

I can straighten chairs to the smallest degree to make sure they are straight. Get upset over a bent corner on my books. Perfect a written paper to the point that every page ends at the same spot.

Maybe I am just weird.

I click my nails between my teeth (to the annoyance of my wife).

I stratch the same spot on my back.

I over-analyze my food. I have "texture issues" which means that I don't want pulp in my orange juice, lumps in my potatoes, or chunks in my tomato sauce. As I've told a friend, "When it comes to food, I want my liquids to be liquids and my solids to be solids. I don't want a drink or a sauce to have a chunk in it and I don't want my solid food to squirt in my mouth."

Since I don't eat any fruit (see above), I have come to depend on smoothies for my fruit intake. I have had the same smoothie (with the same basic recipe) practically every morning (unless I am on vacation) for the past 10 years of my life. And in some sense, I wouldn't mind eating the same food for every meal for just about every day of my life.

Wow, now that I think about it, that is weird.

At times, people have joked with me about being OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder).

I never gave it much thought.

Until I struggled with panic attacks.

And then I realized that one aspect of OCD is what is called "brain lock." Getting stuck on a thought, almost like a scratch on a record, and thinking about it over and over again.

I read Can Christianity Cure Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder? by Dr. Ian Osborn (a great book, by the way) and realized that people like Martin Luther and John Bunyan probably suffered from what psychologists would call "OCD." Luther was so focused on his sin in the monastery that he confessed over and over and over again. The joke among the monks was that "Luther feels the need to confess every time he breaks wind." Meanwhile, Bunyan was so obsessed with the idea that he committed the unpardonable sin that he entered long periods of extreme depression and doubt, convinced he was eternally damned.

My struggles are nowhere near Luther's or Bunyan's or many others I have known who have suffered with OCD.

But I know what it is like to feel trapped…stuck…plagued with thoughts that are hard to escape…to have panic attacks when the ongoing oncoming waves of anxiety overwhelmed my ability to swim above them.

So what does OCD have to do with Christmas?

I read an interesting article by Jeff Peabody in which he compared Jesus being swaddled as a baby to the limitations He faced as the eternal God in human flesh.

This historical detail from Christ's birth suddenly transformed into a personal sign for me. Because I no longer saw just a baby in a blanket, but a God who entered into my boundedness, who shared inside knowledge of all I was feeling.

…The conditions of his advent were a small metaphor for his entire life. As the Son of God became flesh and bones, he experienced an unfathomable limitation of himself. The universe closed in around him, restricting him with time and space. Having a human body was like being swaddled, as it contained Almighty God in unnaturally small dimensions.

…The simple image of Jesus, God's gift to us, being wrapped up in cloths comforts me with the powerful truth: He understands the bindings on my mind and soul as only someone who has a shared experience can. The concept of Immanuel, God with us, takes on a new and profound clarity. ("The Gift of Wrapping," Christianity Today, December 2018)

To be our sympathetic High Priest, Jesus had to be made like His brethren (Hebrews 2:17). He had to take on flesh. He had to suffer. He had to experience our weaknesses. He had to deal with thirst, hunger, tiredness, sorrow, physical pain, emotional pain, mental pain, thoughts so overwhelming that He sweated blood.

He had to become a man.

More than that…He had to become a baby.

Helpless.

Limited.

Dependent.

Confined.

Swaddled in tight cloths.

To understand.

To empathize.

To comfort.

To save.

The same tight cloths that wrapped Him as a baby wrapped His dead body after His crucifixion.

But His restricting cloths were set aside in the freedom of the resurrection.

And so will ours.

In this tent [our present body] we groan, earnestly desiring to be clothed with our habitation which is from heaven [our new glorified body] (2 Corinthians 5:2).

If you are groaning today…in your body…in your mind…in your soul.

Look to Jesus.

Immanuel.

God with us.

Posted in Christmas Devotionals | 1 Comment