Random Thoughts on a Down Day

Posted on December 7, 2009 by Steve Foster

I still can’t quite get out of the funk I am in. The inactivity and immobility associated with the Achilles injury is starting to get to me. I am looking forward to going to the doctor on Wednesday. It’s hard to believe that I am saying that. Doctor visits aren’t usually high on my list. But right now I am just ready for the next stage of this Achilles recovery. Cast off. A little “air time” for my foot. Staples out. New cast. And hopefully a little more mobility.

I mentioned this to a wise woman on the phone tonight and she said, “Well, now you know what a pregnant woman feels like.” Apparently pregnant women are always ready for the next stage of the pregnancy…regardless of what lies ahead. I can honestly say that I never thought of it like that before.

I spent most of the past few days with my new friend in the backroom of our house, the recliner. I watched a lot of football. Read some. Surfed the internet. Worked on a family Christmas letter. And basically felt like a bum. When you are busy and working all the time, such a day sounds great. When it becomes your daily reality, then it becomes a drag.

Here are some random thoughts on my mind the past few days…

  • The Saints should not be 12-0…but amazingly they are.
  • Burping up the taste of fish is really gross…especially when you don’t remember eating fish. (I figured this out later. I took a fish oil supplement in the morning that apparently didn’t sit well in the stomach.)
  • Pain is relative…that is why it is fruitless to compare pain with someone else.
  • Kids are a lot of fun…when they are not getting on your nerves.
  • Rules mean nothing when you play with a four year old.
  • A great wife is worth more than a ton of riches (Proverbs 31:10).

And here are a few more thoughts with more elaboration…

Too much TV can lead to depression. I actually read that somewhere recently. I believe it. I enjoy watching football on TV. But after several hours of media overdosage, you feel like you are coming out of anesthesia. I typically do not watch much TV during the week. I have watched a lot more in the past two weeks. I can honestly say that there isn’t much that is good to watch. And even sports need to be viewed with moderation.

Depression and inactivity makes you want to watch TV. Here is the reverse side of the coin. When you are inactive and don’t have much to do (or better yet, don’t feel like doing anything), you have a greater desire to “veg” in front of the tube….which in turn makes you feel more depressed and more like doing nothing.

Thankfully, though I spent most of my time in the recliner today, I didn’t turn on the TV at all. That in itself made today a little better day. Oh, and here is the snippet on that study on TV and depression…

Researchers at the University of Pittsburgh and Harvard Medical School looked at the media habits of 4,142 healthy adolescents and calculated that each additional hour of TV watched per day boosted the odds of becoming depressed by 8%. (http://articles.latimes.com/2009/feb/03/science/sci-tv3)

Tiger Woods needs to read Ecclesiastes. Here is a man who practically has it all. $1 billion net worth. Oodles of fans. Respect across the sports world. A charmed life. A beautiful wife. Nice house. Free Cadillac Escalades. Anything he wants he can practically get. Anywhere he wants to go he can go. But in the course of a few weeks, his world has unraveled. Being the world’s greatest and richest golfer doesn’t teach you how to love…or remain faithful…or control your passions. You can have it all and still be empty…and desperate for something more…something that you won’t find in the passing pleasures of this world or the arms of a cocktail waitress.

I am reminded of two quotes by two of my favorite Christian writers…

“If I discover within myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.” C.S. Lewis

“Every man who knocks on the door of a brothel is looking for God” G.K. Chesterton

Joy is learning to enjoy the simple blessings of life. Ecclesiastes has an interesting refrain throughout the book.

“I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice, and to do good in their lives, and also that every man should eat and drink and enjoy the good of all his labor—it is the gift of God” (3:12-13).

Rejoice. Do Good. Eat. Drink. Enjoy the good of one’s labor. And Ecclesiastes 9:9 would add, “Live joyfully with the wife whom you love…” Interesting advice. Solomon had tried bigger and better, more wine and more wives, increased wealth and greater knowledge…and in the end, he said, “You know what? If I would have stuck to loving my wife, enjoying my kids, working honestly, doing good, and taking each day as a gift from God, then I would have been better off than I am today.”

If that’s true, then why do we keep running after things? Why do “family men” so often forsake the family? Why does the slow life oftentimes seem too slow? And why can’t I simply enjoy this “down” time without feeling down?

I am reminded of another quote. This time by Augustine. “Thou hast made us for Thyself, O God. And our hearts are restless until they find their rest in Thee.” That is true for an unbeliever as well as for a believer. Just because we believe in God doesn’t always mean that we rest in Him.

Come to Me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me. For I am gentle and lowly of heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)

When we come to Jesus Christ, He gives us His rest. When we follow Him daily through the highs and the lows of life, when we learn from Him daily and listen for His still quiet voice, when we trust Him daily even when we don’t always understand His ways, then we find His rest and experience it more and more in our lives.

Lord, help me to rest in You and enjoy Your simple blessings in my life.

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Feeling Down

Posted on December 5, 2009 by Steve Foster

It has been two weeks since my Achilles injury. My activities have been limited ever since then. Simple tasks have become more difficult and time-consuming. Most of my time has been spent sitting in a recliner with my leg propped up.

Considering my limited mobility and activity, I have done pretty well emotionally the past two weeks. The change of pace was actually kind of nice. Before the injury, I rarely had a chance to simply sit, reflect, write, journal, read for extended periods of time. The slower pace was good.

But yesterday my emotions were down. The inactivity is beginning to wear on me. My inability is becoming discouraging.

It probably started when we were in PA and a friend took our boys to an indoor sports park. I sat and watched them play baseball for about an hour and a half. It was frustrating not being a part of the fun. I love playing sports with my boys. I realized at that moment how long and how limited this recovery period will be.

I also began feeling like a burden. The first two weeks the injury was sort of novel. Being cared for did not seem like such an imposition. After all, I have been sick before and have needed help from others. But I have never been sick for two weeks. I have never been unable to care for myself or help out around the house for an extended period of time.

There is a human sense of reciprocity. I help you out, you help me out. You do this for me, and I do this for you. It is sort of a balance of responsibility. I know personally when I start feeling like I am carrying most of the load, like the other person is not doing their fair share, then I can start getting frustrated. I can pull the extra load for awhile, but eventually I need the other person to contribute. Now I am the one on the other side of the coin. I am the one not able to pull my load, share the responsibility, contribute my part. After awhile, you can start feeling guilty, worthless, like a burden.

I don’t like seeing my wife carry the extra burden…especially without being able to contribute in some other areas. I usually clean up after dinner, do the dishes, take out the garbage, care for the lawn, share the driving, or help pick up the clutter around the house. I can help some now but my ability is severely limited. Going on crutches, I can’t even carry a book without some difficulty. I can barely maneuver around the house. I can’t stand for more than two or three minutes at a time.

Obviously I am reflecting on this more than I should be. But when all you have time to do is reflect, then you can’t help yourself.

I am gaining a small sense of how those with chronic illness or long-term handicaps must feel. It is hard not to feel like a burden, like an imposition. How many times can you ask someone to help you before they start to feel irritated with you? I find myself saying, “Thank you,” over and over. I want the other person to know how much I appreciate their help…and I don’t want them to get tired of me.

I wonder if this sense of reciprocity is what makes God’s grace so hard to accept. I have to do something, don’t I, God? How can You love me unconditionally when I have done nothing to earn that love? How can You not get tired of me when all I do is ask for help over and over? But thankfully God’s love is unlimited and His resources are unending.

28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. 29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. (Isaiah 40:28-29)

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever. (Psalm 118:1)

Thank You, God, that You never get tired of me.

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Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners

Posted on December 4, 2009 by Steve Foster

Recovering from my Achilles injury has given me some time to read. One of the books I recently finished was John Bunyan’s autobiography,Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners, written in 1666. Bunyan was the author of the classic, Pilgrim’s Progress, and was imprisoned for twelve years in England for his faith.

Typically when we think of the great Christian leaders of the past, we think that they had a strong, unwavering faith—a faith far more advanced and stronger than our own. But Bunyan was not a man without intense spiritual struggles, fears and doubt.

Bunyan wrote his autobiography for his children. In his introduction, he states why.

…If you have sinned against the light, if you are tempted to blaspheme, if you are drowned in despair, if you think God fights against you, or if heaven is hid from your eyes; remember it was thus with your father; but “out of them all the Lord delivered me” (8).

Bunyan was a “wild child” growing up. As a youth, he states, I had but few equals both for cursing, swearing, lying, and blaspheming the holy name of God. Though he was the very ringleader of all the youth, he had fearful torments of hellfire and was greatly afflicted in his mind with the apprehensions of devils and wicked spirits (10-11).

In his early 20’s, Bunyan began his journey of faith with Christ. Several things caught Bunyan’s attention: the death of a soldier who took Bunyan’s post one night while he served in the army, his marriage to a wife who had a godly heritage, the rebuke of an immoral older woman who thought Bunyan was the ungodliest fellow…that she had ever heard in all her life (16), and the godly faith of some older believers in his community.

Coming to Christ, however, did not alleviate all of Bunyan’s problems. In fact, his struggles intensified.

Bunyan’s mind rarely rested and he constantly struggled with fear, doubt, spiritual attacks, and questions about his own faith. These things did sink me into very deep despair; for I concluded that such things could not possibly be found amongst them that loved God. …I beheld the condition of the dog and toad, and counted the estate of every thing that God had made, far better than this dreadful state of mine (36).

Bunyan felt alone in his struggles. This much sunk me, I thought my condition was alone (37).

Bunyan’s biggest fear was that he had committed the unpardonable sin of blasphemy of the Spirit (Mark 3:28-29). He felt a constant urge in his heart to “sell Christ,” to give him up for the world, to forsake Him and follow after Satan. Sometimes it would run in my thoughts, not so little as a hundred times together, “Sell Him, sell Him, sell Him.”:against which, I may say, for whole hours together. …And sometimes the Tempter would make me believe I had consented to it; but then I should be, as tortured upon a rack for whole days  together (46).

This constant mental struggle was not a passing occurrence but a daily reality for several years in Bunyan’s life. It eventually led to deeper despair and depression.

And now was I both a burden and a terror to myself; nor did I ever so know, as now, what it was to be weary of my life, and yet afraid to die. Oh! how gladly now would I have been anybody but myself! Anything but a man, and in any condition but my own! (49)

To find comfort, Bunyan finally decided to share his struggle with another believer. I told him all my case. I told him also, that I was afraid that I had sinned the sin against the Holy Ghost; and he told me, [that] he thought so, too. Here therefore I had but cold comfort… (59). Did you catch that? Bunyan was in an intense spiritual struggle, feeling like he was doomed and condemned, and another believer basically told him, “Yeah, you probably did commit that sin and probably are rather doomed.”

Like Job’s friends, other believers often speak without thinking and unwittingly add to a person’s burden rather than helping to bear it (Galatians 6:1). Job lamented regarding his friends, “You are all worthless physicians! Oh, that you would be silent, and it would be your wisdom!” (Job 13:4b-5)

Relief came to Bunyan only when he remembered, reflected on, and repeated God’s grace.

“My grace is sufficient for thee, My grace is sufficient for thee, My grace is sufficient for thee,” three times together. And oh! methought that every word was a mighty word unto me; as “My” and “grace” and “sufficient” and “for thee” (68).

Other verses that sustained Bunyan were Isaiah 44:22, Jeremiah 31:3, John 14:19, Romans 8:31, 8:38-39, Colossians 1:20, Hebrews 13:5, James 2:13, 1 John 1:7. Bunyan also found great comfort in Martin Luther’s commentary on Galatians. I do prefer this book of Martin Luther upon the Galatians (excepting the Holy Bible) before all the books that ever I had seen, as most fit for a wounded conscience (45).

Bunyan’s victory was not instantaneous but rather a slow recovery through much difficulty.

By these words [My grace if sufficient for thee] I was sustained, yet not without exceeding conflicts, for the space of seven or eight weeks; for my peace would be in it, and out, sometimes twenty times a day; comfort now, and trouble presently; peace now, and before I could go a furlong, as full of fear and guilt as ever a heart could hold. And this was not only now and then, but my whole seven weeks’ experience… (68).

After many years of struggle and slow progress, Bunyan finally reached a place of inner peace. God’s grace is what brought him there. Pilgrim’s Progress grew out of his own personal story. Looking back, Bunyan saw three great purposes in his great emotional and mental turmoil.

First, by this I was made continually to possess in my soul a very wonderful sense both of the blessing and glory of God, and of His beloved Son (80).

Second, the scriptures also were wonderful things to me; I saw that the truth and verity of them were the keys to the kingdom of heaven (80).

Third, I never saw those heights and depths in grace, and love, and mercy, as I saw after this temptation; great sins to draw out great grace; and where guilt is most terrible and fierce, there the mercy of God in Christ, when showed to the soul, appears most high and mighty (82).

Grace. Amazing grace. Grace abounding to the chief of sinners.

What is grace? The unmerited and unconditional love, blessing, and favor of God. Because of the death of Christ, God’s justice has been satisfied. Our sins have been covered. Our guilt has been removed. But like any gift, grace must be received. God has demonstrated His love toward us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). When sin is acknowledged and grace is received, a person is placed in Jesus Christ. God only sees the purity and righteousness of Christ when He looks at us. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). In Christ, we eat, drink, breathe, and live in grace.

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What about those who have never heard of Jesus?

Posted on December 3, 2009 by Steve Foster

As a pastor I am periodically asked difficult questions of faith. One question I was asked recently is the fate of those who have never heard of Jesus Christ. My response to this person's question is listed below.

One of the perennial questions of Christianity regards the fate of those who have never heard of Jesus Christ. After all, if Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life and no one comes to God except through Him (John 14:6), then how do you process the untold millions (in the present and in history) who have never even heard His name or have only a vague or inaccurate picture of Who He is?

The question behind the question is the very heart of God. Is He really loving? Would God condemn someone unfairly? Will there be someone burning for eternity in hell who, under different circumstances, would have trusted in Jesus but didn't have the chance because of the "unluckiness" of their place of birth, the religion that they were raised in, and/or the laziness of Christians in getting the gospel to them?

Scripture makes it very clear that God is loving (1 John 4:7-8), He is no respecter of persons (Acts 10:34), shows no favoritism (Romans 2:11), completely knows people's hearts (Jeremiah 17:10), knows all realities as well as all possible realities (Psalm 139:1-6), desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth (1 Timothy 2:3-6), takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked (Ezekiel 33:11), and is in complete control of the salvation process (2 Thessalonians 2:13). God's salvation plan is universal and His reach is unlimited.

Key verses which show the universality of God's redemptive plan and which assure us that the Judge of all the earth will do right (Genesis 18:25) are as follows:

Romans 1:18-23 — God reveals Himself to the heart of every person through creation and also through some kind of personal inner witness (conscience, conviction, etc.). What may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. (Romans 1:19)

John 1:9 — Jesus is the Light that gives light to every person who enters the world. There is some kind of inner witness given by Jesus to all people.

John 16:7-11 — The Holy Spirit convicts the entire world of sin, righteousness, and judgment. Again, another inner witness. Every person, in other words, knows deep down that there is a standard (righteousness), that they don't meet it (sin), and that they are responsible to God for not meeting it (judgment). The universal practice of giving excuses reveals this fact. We know we should do better. We know we are accountable. We know we fall short. Thus, we rationalize, excuse, blameshift, compare ourselves with others, deny the whole conscience thing as a repressive remnant of religion, compensate with extreme morality in other areas, or humbly take responsibility and seek redemption.

Acts 10:34-35 — I love this passage because it should bust our categories a little bit…or at least greatly challenge them. God sees the heart of every person in the world. And if someone fears Him and hungers for righteousness (as prompted only by the Spirit of God), God will accept him and, as in the case of Cornelius, will reveal more and more of Himself to him (dreams, unexpected messengers, inner convictions, missionary, etc.).

Acts 17:26-28 — Not only is it impossible that someone could be born in an "unlucky" place but God has put each person in the exact place and time they need to be in order to find Him. That's how much in control of the salvation process He is.

1 John 2:1-2 — Jesus' death is not only the propitiation for our sins but also for the sins of the whole world. In other words, God's wrath has been completely satisfied in Jesus' death. Nothing prevents reconciliation except the heart of an individual who rejects the conviction of His Spirit and speaks against (i.e., blasphemes) the Spirit's ministry in their heart.

[By the way, that is how I understand blasphemy of the Spirit, mentioned in Matthew 12:31, Mark 3:28-29, Luke 12:10. It has nothing to do with the goofy blasphemy challenges on the internet. Jesus states that every sin will be forgiven except one, speaking against the conviction of the Holy Spirit and His drawing toward Jesus Christ in one's heart. Forgiveness is offered to all. Jesus' atoning death has covered all sins. God's wrath has been completely satisfied in Christ. Thus, the only sin that sends a person to hell is when the Spirit of God moves in a person's heart, convicting them of sin, pointing them to God's mercy, and the person finally and firmly says in their heart, "Shut up, Holy Spirit! I want none of this! Leave me alone!" God alone sees and hears these words of the heart. Note that in the context Jesus mentions this sin, the religious leaders have said nothing verbally about the Holy Spirit. It was a heart thing that only Jesus could see.]

Scripture makes it plain that no one gets to heaven except through Jesus (John 14:6, Acts 4:12). No question. He is the only One who could pay and has paid the infinite debt of sin. But how much a person needs to know and understand about Jesus for salvation is debatable. Obviously OT saints were justified through Jesus' death even though they did not fully grasp the idea of Messiah and sacrificial atonement. Abraham was justified by simply believing God's promise (Genesis 15:6). Thus it is possible for God to justify someone based on the revelation that He has given them and their heart response to it.

Luke 18:9-14 is my favorite passage in this regard. The tax collector in this story knew three basic things: 1) There is a God. 2) I fall short of His standard (sin). And 3) I desperately need God's mercy. Jesus said the tax collector was justified based on his knowledge and heartfelt response to these three simple truths…three truths which clearly point to Jesus Christ, the only Savior from sin.

The fear some people have when you teach these truths is that it will lessen our evangelistic imperative. Actually I think it increases it because it takes the pressure and fear out of it. I am simply a confirmer (witness) of what the Holy Spirit is already doing in a person's heart. I never talk to anyone who hasn't already been confronted by God. I also realize that I am just a seed planter (Matthew 13:1-23). Only God can cause the seed to grow (1 Corinthians 3:5-9). God will accomplish His work. I have the privilege of joining Him in the process. What greater joy and motivation is there?

A classic book on the topic is Eternity in Their Hearts by Don Richardson. It is a missionary, historical perspective showing how, through history, God has prepared people for the gospel even before missionaries have ever stepped foot in their nation/culture. Great book.

Hope that helps. Oh, I would also suggest John MacArthur's commentary on Romans 1. Good stuff. He tells a compelling story of Helen Keller. Anne Sullivan, Keller's teacher and a strong believer in Jesus, desires at one point to teach Helen about God. When Anne broached the topic for the first time, Helen responded, "I already knew Him. I just didn't know His name." Quite a testimony from a woman who was cut off from the sight and sound of God's creation but apparently heard His voice in her heart. Maybe we don't hear it today because we are too consumed with the world's sights and sounds…but that's another sermon for another day.

In the end, I trust my Father. He is the God of all mercy, all grace, and all love. And as Lord of all the earth and Creator of all things, He knows the hearts of all people. As Abraham said, "Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?" (Genesis 18:25). He indeed will. And we can trust Him to do so. In the meantime, let's join Him in the ministry of reconciliation.

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A Father's Joy

Posted on December 2, 2009 by Steve Foster

We headed over to Peddlers Village in PA today. Spent the day at Giggleberry Fair, a Chuck E. Cheese type play place for kids of all ages. The boys had a blast. We were there for six hours and they stayed active the whole time (except for a lunch break). They even got along most of the time. Amazing.

I spent most of the six hours sitting in a booth in the food area. I alternated between resting my leg on the booth cushion and putting it beneath the table. The switch was predicated on the soreness of my back end. Oh, to have a little more cushioning back there. Unfortunately extra cushioning is not a male trait in my family.

While sitting, I journaled, reflected, studied, scanned back through Bunyan’s Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners, did some calendar planning, and enjoyed watching my kids enjoy themselves.

It’s amazing how watching your kids laugh and smile and tell stories of their adventures brings such joy to a father. I brought them to this place for their joy, not my own. Indeed, I had to fork over a good amount of money for their joy! But as a father, I love to see my children smile…especially when they express their appreciation and share their joy with me. They enjoyed themselves and they were grateful. They didn’t take the opportunity for granted. They didn’t see it as an entitlement. They didn’t complain. And I smiled too.

The other thing that was awesome to watch was their care for their younger brother. Often they see him as a nuisance, as a third wheel, as a hindrance to their own fun. But for some reason (something was in the air?), they were especially nice to him today. They stuck by him and involved him in their fun. Believe me, this is a rare occurrence…but oh, a wonderful thing to see.

I wonder, again, if my injury has raised the bar for them. They realize that I can’t help and that my wife has a lot on her plate right now, so they are rising to the challenge. I make sure to encourage them in this…and praise them for it. “Go the extra mile, boys, and you will make your dad and your mom smile.” For some reason, today they heeded this advice.

I can’t help but reflect this to my relationship with God. He loves to see me smile. He loves to see me revel in the gifts of life and share that joy with Him, in gratitude, in praise.

On the other hand, He is grieved when I complain, think I deserve more, overlook my blessings, see life as an entitlement, and see my brothers and sisters in Christ as a nuisance to shed as quickly as possible.

For the kingdom of God is not food and drink, but righteousness and peace and joy i nthe Holy Spirit. For he who serves Christ in these things is acceptable to God and approved by men. Therefore, let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may build up another. (Romans 14:17-19)

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