First Day w/o Pain

The first day I woke up without any pain. My foot actually felt normal…except for the fifteen pound cast on my leg. I quit taking the toradol. I was glad to get off that stuff.

I shaved and brushed my teeth sitting on a chair next to the sink. I took a shower sitting on the little stepstool and then transferring to a chair next to the shower to dry off. Another chair is positioned at the landing of the second floor so that I can sit and transfer to my butt in order to scoot down the stairs. My preferred location downstairs is the recliner in the backroom. My laptop computer is plugged in on a little stand next to me. A stack of books is on the floor. My leg is propped up on a pillow with a PolarCare 500 ice machine (borrowed from a friend of ours) pumping cold water continuously around my foot. The TV remote is next to me in case I want to catch a football game or something else on TV. This becomes my “home” for most of the day.

The reality of the next few months hits me today. The “newness” of the whole affair has worn off and now I realize how tough the next few weeks will be. The simplest of tasks (brushing my teeth, taking a bath, going to the bathroom) are no longer simple.

Thankfully, if I had to schedule this event on my calendar, it happened at the perfect time. My responsibilities at church had become considerably less. My Thursday night class was off for two weeks. My sermon series had ended. Retreats and conferences were past. For two weeks, there was nothing pressing on my calendar. I will at least get through the initial adjustment of the injury and the recovery before I have to get back in the groove of a regular work schedule.

The timing makes me think that God has a specific purpose for this injury/recovery time. It definitely has slowed me down and given me a chance to read, to write, to think. Lord, help me to make the most of this time.

It has been one week since the injury and I had my best sleep since that time.

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Thanksgiving 2009

Thanksgiving Day. I am thankful that I slept well last night. I am thankful that the pain is not as bad in my heel. I am thankful that I have a great wife who loves me and cares for me in such tangible ways. I am thankful for God’s guidance and provision in my life.

At noontime, we went to the church for a thanksgiving dinner. Liz and I have hosted a dinner at the church for the past three years for fellow “nomads” and family-less people in the church. We usually have 15-20 people. This year we had 30. While Liz and the boys helped set things up, I sat in a reclining chair giving whatever instructions I could. I usually over-prepare for these kinds of events and worry about how well they will go. This year that wasn’t a concern. I was just thankful to be there. Surprisingly I think things went better too.

After everyone arrived (and I relayed my story a few more times), we sat down around the large u-shaped table. I read from Colossians 3:15-17, the verses that meant so much to me on the day of my surgery. The idea of thankfulness is mentioned in each of these verses. Then I asked everyone to introduce themselves and share at least one thing they were thankful for. I started by thanking God for my wife who continues to amaze me and humble me with her servant’s heart, her unconditional love, and her ability to get things done. What a partner to have in life.

It was awesome to hear each person share. We had young and old, single and married, southerners and northerners, black, brown, and white, immigrants and native-born Americans. The neatest thing was hearing the young kids share. They picked up on the procedure and shared just like the adults. My four year old son Joshua shared last, “Hi, my name is Joshua. And I am thankful to God that I am one of the Fosters.” That’s enough to make a father smile.

Three hours went by quickly. The food was great. The fellowship was better. Conversations flowed naturally. The kids went outside to play. The adults stayed inside and got to know each other better. I enjoyed the time but started to get a headache at about 3pm—the same time I had gotten a headache the day before. Not sure if it was the pain or the pain medication that made my head throb.

We got home around 4:30pm. I took a nap to get rid of my headache. I woke up around 6pm, ate some dinner, watched some football, and then went to bed.

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DAS (Day After Surgery)

I woke up in the middle of the night with a strong urge to pee. Though it was difficult to get to the bathroom and it burned to urinate, I was never so thankful for peeing in my entire life. I don’t think I will ever take urination for granted again.

In the morning, my foot throbbed with pain. I was given two pain medications from the hospital, toradol to take every six hours and percocet to take as needed. After having such an issue with the anesthesia and pain medication at the hospital, I didn’t want to take more than what was necessary. I took only the toradol which at least too the edge off the pain.

I laid on the couch most of the day, working on my computer, answering email, talking to a few people on the phone, and going to the bathroom regularly (thankful each time).

At 11am, I had a follow-up visit with Dr. C. It was short and sweet. He simply wanted to see if I could wriggle my toes. I thought, “I could have sent you a video of that with my phone.” He gave me a brief description of the recovery period. Two weeks until I get the staples out and a new cast. Two or three additional weeks until a walking boot. A few weeks in a walking boot and then physical therapy. Full recovery in six months. Quite a long haul.

The pain level for the day was uncomfortable but manageable. I mostly felt the pain at the incision point. I could feel the staples at times. Having to rest my foot on a pillow makes the pain on the back of my foot more noticeable.

My Big Bulky Cast

My Big Bulky Cast

The cast is heavy. My toes are angled down which makes it harder to use the crutches. I have to hold my leg high to keep my toes from hitting the ground. Though my left calf is probably going to wither away over the next few months, my left thigh should be very strong. Standing up for an extended period of time is difficult.

I took a shower at night sitting on a small stepstool with my left leg in a garbage bag hanging out the shower. The hot water felt good and the position wasn’t too bad. I felt like a really short guy taking a shower.

I took one half of a percocet at night to help me sleep.

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Colossians 3:15-17

15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. 17And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

I am amazed at the timing of these verses in my life. I am having surgery this afternoon on my achilles tendon and I am a bit apprehensive. Maybe more than “a bit.” This is my first surgery and I can’t say that I tolerate pain, blood, iv’s, hospitals, or anything in that category very well. Even simple blood tests can give me the shivers. Of course, I know some people are “old pros” at this kind of stuff and, while not enjoying such medical prodding, have learned not to get too worked up about it. All I can say is I admire you. I am not there yet. So these verses really ministered to me this morning.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts… Let it rule. In Christ, the peace is already there. I simply cloud it over with my own fears, anxieties, and unwillingness to fully trust Christ with the things outside of my control. Let it rule. Don’t just let the peace co-exist with my fears. Let it rule. Let it take over. Let it govern my thoughts, dominate my mind, dictate to my emotions. For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7).

Since as members of one body you were called to peace… Interesting follow-up phrase. It is not quite what I would expect. I would think, “Let the peace of Christ rule in your heart so that you won’t be stressed out.” Instead, God says, “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts so that you will be at peace with one another.” Ever notice that when you are stressed out, you tend to bark at others, have less patience, grumble, complain, murmur, blameshift, or wallow in self-pity? James reminds us that most of our conflicts in relationships arise from the lack of peace and contentment in our own hearts (James 4:1). So we are called to have peace in our hearts so that we can have peace in our relationships.

And be thankful. Peace in Christ breeds gratitude in my heart. I focus not on my struggles but on my Savior. Not on my burdens but on my blessings.

So peace in my heart brings peace in my relationships, gratitude in my attitude, praise in the congregation, and glory to God.

Lord, reign in my heart today!

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Surgery Day

heel achilles injury rupture surgery

Heel Before Surgery

Having surgery late in the day makes for an interesting morning. I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. I also had a lot of time to think about it. This would be my first surgery. I had my wisdom teeth out about nine years earlier but it didn’t seem like a surgery…and even then I didn’t handle the iv very well. They had to use smelling salts to keep me from passing out before the anesthesia knocked me out.

I don’t like needles, especially ones that stay in your arm. I also don’t like the thought or sight of blood. Hospitals are not my favorite either. In short, I wasn’t looking forward to the whole affair and I couldn’t wait to get it over with.

I have a Bible reading schedule and the assigned verses for the day were Colossians 3:15-17. They were perfect for my situation. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts… Liz and I prayed for peace for myself and wisdom for our doctor. Several others in the church were praying for me as well. I felt at peace most of the day.

At noontime, the hospital called to see if I could come up early. This was an answer to prayer to me. I was ready to get going. The anticipation seemed worse than the actual event.

I got up to the hospital before 1pm and started the process of getting ready for surgery. By 1:30pm, I was ready to go. My vitals had been taken, my left leg had been shaved up to my calf, and the iv had been inserted. It wasn’t as bad as I thought. I just had to keep from looking at it or thinking about it. The TV helped…even if the only thing on was soap operas.

Just when it looked like I was headed to surgery, the nurse informed me that I had to wait. The other person whose surgery spot I was apparently taking was now also ready to go. He was going before me and his surgery was more involved. My surgery time was now closer to 4:30pm.

The extra time was not bad. Liz turned the channel to ESPN and we watched some meaningless college basketball game between Vanderbilt and Chaminade. We also talked for awhile about surgery, the recovery, Christmas, and a host of other things. I read a little of Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners by John Bunyan. Bunyan, the author of Pilgrim’s Progress, was a man who struggled with his thoughts and his faith as well. I was encouraged reading his testimony.

At about 3:30pm, a lady was placed in the holding area next to me. Though the curtain was drawn, her conversation with the nurse was clearly audible. She sounded like a hypochondriac who went from one surgery and procedure to the next. Her life sounded like an ongoing combination of real pain and perceived pain. She talked constantly with the nurse and whined to her husband, who at times seemed too eager to leave and run errands. At first, I found her pathetic but then began to pray for her. Her pain and dire depression, whether real or not, made my own situation seem less important.

At 4:30pm, I was taken up to the surgery waiting room. Here I would meet the anesthesiologist and my surgeon. Next to me in this room was the same lady who had been taken up a few minutes before me. She was still moaning, crying, and complaining of her pain, begging her husband to get her some pills out of her purse. Since I knew her name, I started a conversation with her through the curtain. It seemed to take her mind off her situation (and mine off my own). I eventually asked if I could pray for her. She said, “Of course!” I prayed for God’s peace for her. She prayed the same for me.

Soon I was meeting with the anesthesiologist. Short and sweet. I have learned that generally anesthesiologists are not much for conversation or personality. Next came Dr. C. He seemed to be in a good mood and ready to go. Always comforting when you are his next patient. We joked about a few things. He filled out a notebook full of papers. He then marked my foot with a long pen mark. I asked him if the surgery was arthroscopic. He said, “No. It is open surgery with an incision about 3-4 inches up the back of your heel.” First time I realized that. I guess I should have asked sooner though it wouldn’t have made much difference. “Whatever it takes to do it right,” I thought.

Surgery really is a step of faith. For an hour or so, you are putting your body and life at the complete disposal of another person. You are totally yielded to them. In theory, they could do whatever they want to you. You have to completely trust them. You put your life and well being in their hands. Interestingly, you also go in the operating room with nothing…except a cheap hospital gown. I couldn’t help but make the connection to coming to Jesus Christ for salvation. I come with nothing and trust Him for everything. He alone is qualified to heal my heart.

The last person to come in was the nurse who would be assisting the surgeon. He noted that I was about the 20th Achilles injury case he had done…though the first with taekwondo. “Most of the Achilles injuries are from 40 year olds playing basketball like they are 20 year olds. Weekend warriors who don’t stretch very much.” I wasn’t much different. A 40 year old acting like a 20 year old in taekwondo, also not stretching and exercising like I should.

Just after 5pm, they wheeled me into the operating room. I was surprisingly relaxed. Joking with the nurse kept my stress level down. Prayers from friends surrounded me with peace. The room was noticeably cold especially when all you have on is a hospital gown. “Whoa, it is cold in here,” I said. “You don’t want the surgeon sweating in your wound, do you?” was the smiling reply from the nurse.

The anesthesiologist came in to check my heart rate and blood pressure. Then I mask was placed over my face and I was told to breathe slowly and deeply. I can only remember the third breath.

At 7:30pm, I began to wake up in the recovery room. The first thing I noticed was the clock on the wall and the intense pain in my foot. The recovery room nurse welcomed me to consciousness and asked me how my pain level was. I said, “About a six.” He gave me a shot of pain medicine and checked on me a few minutes later. “How is it now?” “About a four.” He gave me another one.

Thirty minutes later, I was back in the original holding room in the hospital. Groggy. Slightly nauseous. Semi-conscious. Ready to go home. Liz greeted me and kissed me. Oh, what a blessing of a great wife!

I drank some ginger ale and ate one graham cracker. It was after 8pm. The same day surgery room closed at 10:30pm. I had two and half hours to come out of anesthesia, urinate, and be discharged from the hospital. It was the middle item that would become a problem.

I continued to drink water from 8pm to 10pm with no real urge to urinate. Finally they decided to get me up to the bathroom. I took a few steps, felt incredibly nauseous and threw up the ginger ale and graham cracker. Next, they wheeled me into the bathroom. Everyone else in the same day unit was gone except myself, my wife, and two nurses. A few janitors also came in to clean up and mop. The lights were out, Dancing with the Stars was on one lone TV, and the nurses were standing outside the bathroom stall waiting for me to pee. Talk about pressure! I sat on the toilet drinking water and trying my hardest to go. Nothing came. Instead of going into the toilet, all the water I drank eventually came out of my mouth. I threw up three more times.

At 10:30pm, the nurse told me that they ordered a catheter. It was not the news I wanted to hear. I tried even harder to pee. I didn’t know much about catheters but I knew enough to know it was not going to be pleasant.

At 11:00pm, I was back in the bed, getting prepped for a catheter. I was told to relax but I was as tense as I had ever been. I cried out in pain as the catheter was inserted. It hurt more than anything I can remember. Liz held me and cried with me. Ten minutes later it was removed which hurt just as much. After that, getting the iv removed (one of my earlier fears) was a piece of cake. I couldn’t wait to leave.

I arrived home shortly after midnight. I had a few hallucinogenic dreams before finally getting a few hours of peaceful sleep. I was ready for the night to be over and a new day to come.

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