"A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle." Proverbs 18:19
I came across this proverb this morning. It is a reminder of the difficulty of relationships. Be in a relationship for any period of time and you will be offended. Your feelings will get hurt. You will feel slighted, disrespected, ignored, irritated, wounded. And, the converse is also true, along the way you will also offend and wound others…whether intentionally or unintentionally.
Unfortunately the hurt heart often becomes the hardened heart. The wounds lead to walls. We build up our defenses. We retreat into our shell. We become angry and cynical. We isolate ourselves to protect ourselves and end up reducing ourselves to bitter individuals.
Breaking through such walls are more difficult than any battle strategy. To restore a broken relationship is often the greatest challenge we will face in this life. That's why God gives commands to both the offender and the offended.
To the offender…do all you can to seek forgiveness and restoration as soon as you can. "Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift" (Matthew 5:23-24).
To the offended…do all you can to forgive and keep your heart tender before the Lord. "Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother" (Matthew 18:15).
And "do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give an opportunity to the devil" (Ephesians 5:26b).
"Pursue peace will all men, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking diligently lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled" (Hebrews 12:15).
Seeking to restore broken relationships is difficult and often heart-wrenching but it is worth it. Just ask your Savior, Jesus Christ.
