I Lost My Pillow

I lost my pillow.

Not something to be too upset about. After all, it is just a pillow.

But maybe not.

I have had this pillow since I was probably three or four. My grandmother made it for me. Duck down. A blue, red, and white cover filled with large letters and numbers. Made for a small child. Made for me.

Cool to the head.

I slept on it from the time I was four.

As I look back over 50 years of my life, it may sound strange but I have always had that pillow. It was what I slept on while living on Nyquist Circle. Times I can barely remember. It went with me when we moved further out into the country on County Road 16-A. I was seven then.

I slept on it during those awkward pre-teen times, during my teenage years, even when I first went to college.

My roommates thought it was just a small flat pillow. Nothing special. I probably didn’t think too much of it myself. But it was important enough to take to college with me.

Graduating. Moving to New Orleans. Getting married.

Always sleeping on that same pillow.

When I got married, I don’t think my wife knew about my pillow. I didn’t think to tell her. Sort of a strange conversation, “Liz, before we get married, I have to tell you about my pillow.”

We just got married…and there was my pillow.

I’m sure sometime early on, I told her about it.

“My grandmother made it for me. I think she made it out of duck down. All I know is it is soft, cool, and great to sleep on. I have slept on it all my life.”

Made sense to her. She even helped me take care of it. The poor thing probably had thirty different covers sewn over it. I would wear one out and my mom would make a new one. My wife took over the task after we were married.

I took it on most of our trips. Not all of them. Sometimes I forgot to take it. Sometimes I simply didn’t want to take it. The chances of losing it or forgetting it were too great I guess.

Once we left it in a hotel. We had already traveled several hundred miles before I remembered. We called the hotel.

“Did you happen to find a small pillow in Room 214 [or whatever number it was]?”

“Hold on, let me check. …Yes, we did.”

“Would you mind mailing it back to us? We are too far away to come back and get it.”

“Sure. What’s the address?”

A few days later…when we were home…a Priority Mail package arrived with my pillow.

It was sort of like a mini-reunion. Like a lost friend coming home.

I suppose this all sounds sort of weird. Childish. Like Linus and his blanket. Or the childhood teddy bear that it is kept way too long. Until its stuffing is coming out.

But in a strange way that pillow was a link to my past. To my grandmother. A woman I barely got to know. She lived in Illinois while we lived in Florida. She died before I was a teenager.

Yet she made me that pillow. I am not even sure why. And as far as I know, she didn’t make one for anyone else. Or maybe this one was passed down from all my older brothers and sisters and I, being the youngest, just got to keep it.

Now that the pillow’s seemingly gone, I feel like I want to know its history. I feel like I want to honor it some way. Write it a tribute.

I guess I am.

It’s interesting how objects can carry memories. You see something and it reminds you of some event, some person, some relationship.

It even tends to attach itself to you.

I saw that during the flood that hit Baton Rouge several years ago. People lamented over lost stuff. On one hand, you think, “It’s just stuff. It can be replaced.” But on the other hand, it wasn’t “just stuff.” Many of the items swept away or ruined by the flood couldn’t be replaced. They were attached to memories. They were attached to people.

We are embodied creatures. Our soul expresses itself through physical members of our body. And with our physical members we create “things.” We buy “stuff.” We possess “possessions.” In a strange way, our soul extends itself out through our physical members and finds some kind of attachment to physical objects.

Yes, we can go too far and find our identity in the things we own. But the other side of the coin is to try to act like these things don’t matter. Be the ascetic. The mystic. The other worldly stoic who is too transcendent to notice or to mourn the loss of mere earthly objects.

But God created a physical world and gave us a physical body to enjoy it.

It is not “spiritual” to act like things don’t matter. It is actually spiritual to realize that they do.

So back to my pillow.

I left it at a hotel near Zion National Park. A La Quinta to be exact. Room 521. I have called twice to see if, by any chance, someone found it.

It has to be somewhere. Maybe the cleaning lady wrapped it up in the linens and it is yet to be discovered. Maybe she discarded it. Maybe she took it home to give it to her grandchild. Maybe it ended up under the bed for some future guest to discover.

Maybe I’ll get a phone call that it has been found.

All I know is that for now, it is lost.

The last physical object from my childhood is gone.

Except my own physical body.

And reality says that one day it will be gone too.

But I find it ironic, and mildly comforting, that I lost my pillow near Zion.

It reminds me that there is a hope for all things that are lost.

They can be found.

They can even be remade, renewed, redeemed.

The physical won’t be discarded. It will be transformed.

No more tears. No more loss. No more disease. No more death.

Because of a physical Savior who physically died to make all “things” new (Revelation 21:5).

That’s the real beauty of Zion.

And maybe my pillow will be there too.

Being held by my grandmother who I’ll have all eternity to get to know.

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50 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years

Today is my 18263th day on earth (if I got the leap years right).

50 years of life. Wow.

I remember being at a friend's 50th birthday party many years ago wondering what it would be like to turn 50.

Here I am.

Nothing is really different. I still felt the same this morning when I woke up.

50 is just a number. A mile marker. But it certainly lets you know that you have been on the road for quite a few miles. And that your warranty is long expired.

As I sit here and reflect on 50 years of life, here are 50 random things that I have learned or observed so far.

1. Life moves quickly…and quicker as you get older.

2. I can vividly remember events from my childhood days better than I can remember what I did last week.

3. Reflecting on my childhood almost feels like I am observing another life.

4. Life was simpler when I was younger.

5. Growing up in a small town was a blessing.

6. Riding your bike alone on a dark road between two graveyards is scary.

7. Nostalgia can make the past seem idyllic.

8. It is easier to eat beef when you didn't know the cow.

9. God's creation is awesome…but unfortunately less appreciated as you get older.

10. Good childhood buddies stick in your mind but are hard to stay connected to as life moves on.

11. Parents who stay faithful to each other and to their family are a rare gift.

12. Being the youngest in a large family gives you a crash course on relationships and life.

13. Seeing an older brother make a radical change in his life, going from a pot-smoking hippie to a devoted Christ follower, impacts you and everyone in your family.

14. I am thankful that I trusted Jesus Christ as my Savior at a young age.

15. Scripture memory is a discipline that shouldn't be abandoned as you get older.

16. Church business meetings can skew a young believer's view of the Christian life.

17. The adolescent years are difficult and confusing…and I can't even imagine what they are like in today's culture!

18. Typing in your initials for a high score on Galaga felt like a major accomplishment…even though it wasn't.

19. One choice can change the entire trajectory of your life.

20. Going away for college grew me up quickly.

21. The 80's were a great decade. And the Commodore 128 was a powerful computer.

22. Being on your own helps you appreciate your parents.

23. Walking into a church where you don't know anyone is an intimidating experience.

24. Failure shapes you more than success.

25. Living and learning is good…but learning and living is better.

26. Marry someone that you enjoy spending the day with.

27. A good wife is more precious than rubies (Proverbs 31:10).

28. Friendships with older couples are a blessing.

29. I hate cancer.

30. I still miss my sister.

31. Being honest about death teaches us about life.

32. Without the resurrection of Jesus Christ, we really have no hope.

33. Watching a birth really is watching a miracle.

34. Marriage taught me how selfish I am. Parenting taught me how impatient I am.

35. Being told as a new parent, "Enjoy these years because they go by so quickly," really doesn't make sense until your children are older.

36. Looking at old pictures of my boys creates a weird mixture of sorrow and joy.

37. As you get older, you tend to look back more.

38. As you get older, you groan more.

39. As you get older, you itch more.

40. As you get older, your hair leaves the places you want it to be and grows in the places that you don't want it to be.

41. As you get older, the weather forecast becomes more interesting.

42. As you get older, you can become more cynical of the world…and of others…if you are not careful.

43. As you get older, you long for some things to stay the same.

44. Contentment is a learned skill (Philippians 4:11-13).

45. Being thankful is the secret to joy.

46. Humbling yourself is the secret to relationships.

47. Gaining an eternal perspective is the secret to life.

48. Realizing that God is in control…and you are not…is the secret to rest.

49. Every day is a gift of God's grace.

50. I have tasted and seen that the LORD is good. Blessed is the man who trusts in Him! (Psalm 34:8)

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27 Things I Have Learned in 27 Years of Marriage

In honor of our 27th anniversary on June 22, here are 27 things that I have learned about marriage.

1. Love deepens over time. I certainly loved Liz when I married her 27 years ago but I really didn't understand the depths of love or what it really meant to love someone. Love is only built on knowledge, commitment, and intimacy developed and experienced over time. 

2. To have a good marriage marry a good person. I wish I could take more credit for the health of my marriage but in reality I was just blessed to marry a godly woman with strong character. She has been the perfect complement for me and has made me a better man. The only credit I can take is seeking out a Christian wife with a good testimony. But the rest was a step of faith and the grace of God. 

3. Marriage doesn't resolve your personal issues rather it exposes them. If you go into marriage thinking that your spouse will solve all your problems, fill all your voids, and meet all your deepest needs, then you will be sorely disappointed. You must bring emotional and spiritual health into the marriage, not expect emotional and spiritual health to come from the marriage. 

4. The first year of marriage is one of the toughest…and honeymoons are fairly disappointing. I can't say that our honeymoon or our first year of marriage were "bad." They had their fun, enjoyable moments. But, looking back, they were definitely not the "perpetual moments of bliss" that I dreamed they would be. Instead they were much more awkward, stressful, and difficult than I could have expected.

5. Marriage is hard work. Marriages that are coasting are going downhill. It takes time and effort to build a relationship and to learn how to listen well, understand your spouse's needs, resolve conflict, forgive from the heart, and make changes in your character and habits for the benefit of your marriage.

6. Don't go to bed angry with each other. One of the few pieces of advice that we grabbed onto early in our marriage was from Ephesians 4:26, Don't let the sun go down on your anger. We have stuck to that piece of advice…even when it meant staying up late to have a difficult conversation…and it has kept our marriage from a lot of misunderstanding and bitterness.

7. Don't play competitive games against your spouse. Maybe some marriages can handle this but we can't. Our first fight was over a game of Boggle. Yes, Boggle. I questioned her score and she questioned my trust in her. Fun stuff. We are both competitive and we found it almost impossible to play against each other without it resulting in some unneeded tension. We have chosen to be on the same team as much as possible ever since.

8. Work as a team. Piggybacking on the above, we have sought to tackle things in life as a team instead of as competitors. Instead of letting an issue divide us, we have tried to use it to bring us together. A problem is either an opportunity to work together as a team or ammunition to use in a war. We have strived to choose the former. 

9. Move away from home. Okay, maybe this doesn't work or isn't necessary for everyone but for us it was a blessing to be away from our parents and families during the early years of our marriage. We were forced to grow together as a couple apart from the "roles" that we often play in our families. This is the "leave principle" in Genesis 2:24 and it must be done emotionally if not geographically. 

10. Avoid debt. Again, some people can't avoid this but being free from debt in the early years of our marriage took a lot of stress off our backs. We have kept a tight lid on our finances throughout our marriage…operating from a tangible but flexible budget…and it has removed one big marital problem off the table for us. 

11. Parenting is a major stress on marriage. Our biggest fights and frustrations came after we had our first little bundle of joy. Tiredness. Different parenting approaches. Lack of free time. Responsibility. Irritableness. Unmet expectations. All of it came to a head with our first child. Thankfully we had seven years of marriage under our belt to help us work through it but it was a major stressor nonetheless. People who think that having a child will strengthen a weak marriage or correct a poor relationship are living in a fantasy world. 

12. Parenting is the greatest adventure that you will take together. Despite the stresses mentioned above, looking back, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Parenting together over the years opened up parts of our hearts that we didn't know existed. It drew us closer together, expanded our love, and made life an adventure. Our boys turned us from a couple into a family.

13. Share email accounts, Facebook, and computers. For us this has been a simple way to avoid potential temptations and distractions in our marriage.

14. Share your spiritual life together. Go to church together, discuss Scripture together, pray together, serve together. As a pastor, many of these things would be expected but Liz and I have still had to grow in our spiritual "oneness." It doesn't happen automatically so find ways to stay connected spiritually and to remind yourselves that life is bigger than you and your individual wants. 

15. Avoid marital scorekeeping. Scorekeeping is a killer to marriages. "I've done this, this, and this…and you have only done this… thus you owe me." We got trapped in this thinking briefly after having kids. Thankfully we recognized it and stopped it.

16. "Catch the little foxes"…and exterminate them. In the Bible's love song, a young couple is encouraged to get rid of the "little foxes" before they ruin their vineyard (cf. Song of Songs 2:15). This is not agricultural advice but practical advice put into poetic language. Little conflicts, little irritations, little temptations easily creep into a marriage and then later destroy it. Be vigilant and wise and quickly and decisively eliminate anything that could harm your marriage.

17. Marry your best friend. Physical attraction is certainly a real element in choosing a mate but in the end it won't make or preserve a good marriage. I found that even when we were not officially dating, Liz and I kept spending time together. Our friendship has made our marriage…and our physical attraction…that much stronger. 

18. Learn to appreciate your differences. Liz and I are very different. She is decisive, blunt, cut and dry, and loves discipline and schedules. I am more indecisive, contemplative, creative, and love a more laid back approach. She can manage many things; I prefer to focus on one thing at a time. When we were dating, we were attracted by the differences. A few years into marriage, we became aggravated by the differences. But over time, by God's grace, we have become amused by the differences. We have learned to laugh at ourselves and the different ways we do things…and to appreciate how we both have grown by being married to someone different than ourselves. As Ruth Bell Graham once said, "If two people agree on everything, then one of them is unnecessary."

19. Plan weekly date nightsAfter having kids, this is especially essential for a marriage. We have made a weekly date night a priority in our marriage. Usually we use a coupon or a gift card for dinner and then find a coffee shop to hang out in to talk about our week and take a "pulse" of our marriage and family. Our kids know that our marriage relationship with each other takes priority over over our parenting relationship to them…and they are thankful for it! It is awesome to hear them say, "Hey, aren't y'all taking a date night soon?"  

20. Find ways to keep the romance alive. A surprise gift. An unexpected love note. A lingering kiss. A playful hint. Don't let the creativity of the dating years turn into the familiarity of the marriage years. Enjoy the gift of marriage and plumb the depths of its joy.

21. Take note of each other's "love language." The love language thing can be taken overboard but it has been something that we have noted in our marriage. The best way for me to say "I love you" to Liz is to do acts of service for her–wash the dishes, pick up around the house, clean the bathrooms. For me, I need to hear words of encouragement. The funny thing is that we discovered early on that gift giving is not high on either of our lists. We both returned our first Christmas gifts to each other. Since then, we have decided to shop together for things we want and simply go out to eat together on special occasions. 

22. Sleep in a small bed. Okay, again this is just our experience but we have never owned a bed bigger than a full size. It has kept us close at night and not allowed us to retreat to our own corner of the bed in times of conflict. 

23. Intimacy is built on security. I think I am finally beginning to understand Genesis 2:25, They were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. It is more than just a physical thing. It is a feeling of total vulnerability with your spouse that only comes from the security of a lifelong commitment reinforced over time. Intimacy is only bulit on vulnerability and vulnerability only comes within security. It is awesome to experience a relationship with no barriers, hidden agendas, fears, or regrets. 

24. Marry young. I certainly recognize that this isn't always possible…or wise. But for us, marrying at a relatively young age (22 and 20) enabled us to grow together through the early stages of adulthood. We developed our life patterns together, aligned our life direction together, faced life decisions together, and were forced to grow in responsibility and commitment sooner. 

25. Sexual purity is worth it. Remaining sexually pure as a young adult was one of the toughest challenges I have ever faced, yet looking back I am so glad that I made that commitment. Enjoying intimacy with my wife with no other thoughts of anyone else brings a closeness that I can't imagine being any better.

26. Monogamy is worth it. I am convinced that being committed to one woman over time brings the highest sexual satisfaction. Sexual intimacy is definitely a learning process that only gets better and better over time.  

27. Marriage is a blessing from God. With divorce rates on the rise, cohabitation the norm, and redefinition the trend, marriage is on the ropes in many respects. But I have found that trusting God's design and following God's ways has made our marriage as strong and as satisfying as any human relationship can be. I give God the glory for His good gift of marriage. And if the intimacy keeps getting better and the love keeps growing deeper then I can't wait for the next 27 years! 

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How Magnificent Is Your Name

We are going through the Psalms this summer in church. My son, Nate, wrote a poem, actually more of a rap, after we finished studying Psalm 8. It is a good reminder of the glories of creation and the evidence of God’s handiwork.

One hundred and eighty six thousand … miles per second
One hundred and eighty six thousand … miles per second

A light year should cause such a buzz
But for humanity it never really does
We live our lives in such a rush
Too busy to stop, to think, to hush

Consider the heavens and the stars
How far apart they really are
Go 186000 miles per second for a year
And Alpha Centuri won’t even seem near

Meanwhile the atoms that make up who we are
Contain more power than a neutron star
They are 99.99% empty space
Every breath we take is a gift of grace

Still we laugh in God’s face
Take pride in the things that man creates
Making it to the moon isn’t an accomplishment
We haven’t even scratched the surface yet

If the moon was closer. We’d all die
If the sun was closer. We’d all die
If Jupiter didn’t block asteroids. We’d all die
If God was gone and didn’t provide. We’d all die

We applaud the theories of Hawking
When we should be stopping and gawking
At glories in the skies
At the mercy in His eyes

Saying

How excellent is your name Lord, in all the Earth.
You set your glory in the skies, high above the Earth.
How magnificent is your name Lord, in all the land
You hold the galaxies in the span of your hand.

Four thousand and two hundred … Beats per minute
Four thousand and two hundred … Beats per minute

That’s how fast a hummingbird can fly
Faster than the blink of an eye
Have you ever stopped and wondered why
Caterpillars turn into butterflies.

How come we don’t find it a surprise
All the nutrients the ground supplies
What we consider waste goes to fertilize
The things we eat to keep us alive
That should blow our minds

To much of the breath we exhale is poisonous
But for both the plants and the trees it’s a must
And how nice of them to produce oxygen
So we fragile humans can take a breath again

The bombardier beetle has two chemicals it’s holdin’
That when mixed together cause an explosion,
That in turn causes predators to desist
Checkmate atheists

Sea cucumbers can regrow their intestines. They just replicate.
The earth has dynamic ecosystems. Science can’t duplicate.
The complexity of surrounding life; We should contemplate.
Nature proclaims the praises of God. We should reciprocate.

But we would much rather believe in natural selection
Then in a holy God’s perfection
Because we want our sin to escape detection
While we take for granted God’s protection.
But we should be saying.

How excellent is your name Lord, in all the Earth.
You’ve shown your glory in nature, it’s your handiwork.
How magnificent is your name Lord, in all the land
You hold the continents in the palm of your hand.

Two million five hundred thousand … Cells per second
Two million five hundred thousand … Cells per second

That is how many of our body’s cells die
We are dying while we’re still alive
Cells reproducing rapidly just to survive
All working interdependently or else we would die

Consider the miracle of conception
A human life form at its inception
It starts from a single cell
Nine months later you could never tell

Twenty-two days and the heart starts to beat
Five months in and he’s kicking his feet
God’s providence is so easy to see
But that’s not what they said to me

“A human fetus is just a clump of tissues”
Man, y’all have got issues
A single human eye has thousands of parts so you can see the view in them
And when babies come out of the womb they have two of them

What is man that God is mindful of him
What do we have to warrant his loving
Gaze upon us
Grace that’s on us
I’m in a haze if I’m honest
I’m amazed that you want us

As crazy as this world is
Nothing is crazier
Than you entering in
And being our Savior
Which is why I say

How excellent is your name Lord, in all the Earth.
You’ve shown your glory in my life, I’m your handiwork.
How magnificent is your name Lord, in all the lands
You have this frail form cradled in your hands

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Reflecting on Parkland

On February 14, 2018, Nikolas Cruz walked into his former school in Parkland, Florida armed with an AR-15 semiautomatic weapon and a desire to kill.

17 people…brave teachers and innocent high school students…seven of them 14 years old…died.

I can't wrap my mind around the loss of 17 lives, killed in such a senseless, violent way. As a parent of three teenagers and a 12-year old, I can't imagine what my kids would go through…mentally, emotionally, spiritually…if they were exposed to such a mass shooting in their midst. The event would change their lives, skew their view of the world, and create nightmares that they may never be able to shake.

And if any of them were a victim of such an event, as a parent, I am not sure how I would react, respond, or recover.

Putting myself in the shoes of those in Parkland, Florida is a terrifying thought.

Ironically, and perhaps intentionally, the shooting occured on Valentine's Day, a day in which we are called to celebrate and express love.

That day was also Ash Wednesday, a day in which we are to remember our sinfulness and mortality and are called to repent.

A tragedy of this magnitude should call all of us to stop, reflect, and come together in a time of mourning.

As humans, we are all mortal. We are all vulnerable. We are all in this together.

Instead we have become such a polarized culture that even tragedy doesn't bring us together.

It actually moves us further apart.

We retreat to our respective political and ideological corners. Blame the other side. Defend our own position. And grow more angry, cynical, and divided.

Instead of being "quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger," we become the opposite…closed to listening, quick to argue, and enflamed in anger.

As I listen to the arguments about gun control or gun rights, I realize that there is truth on both sides. A 19 year old with mental health issues should not have access to an AR-15. If I was a parent whose child just got killed by a semi-automatic weapon, I would want to ban them too. I would also want greater security and the ability to protect myself from those who have a desire to kill. I would want the FBI to do a better job of following up on warning signs. I would want better mental health services. I would want more respect for life, less broken homes, less violence in the media, less lawlessness, and more kindness.

I would want any potential situation in the world that would have prevented this tragedy.

I would want my child back.

But in the midst of the loss, I think more than anything I would want the tragedy to mean something. I want would it to lead to some meaningful change, to bring together a divided nation in common repentance and resolve.

Whether we want to admit it or not, we are all part of the problem. Yes, Nikolas Cruz bears the culpability alone for the murderous choices he made. But he is a part of our humanity, a part of our culture, and his crime reveals something about the state of our human hearts.

Jesus said:  “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire (Matthew 5:21-22).

At the root of murder is an angry, hateful, desensitized, dehumanizing heart.

When I insult or curse another human being, I say that their life has no value in the eyes of God. I raise myself up above them. I begin to think that my life would be better off if they were not a part of it.

My anger contributes to a toxic culture…and a toxic culture breeds toxic individuals.

But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander (Matthew 15:18-19).

Ultimately the tragedy that occured in Parkland, Florida is not a political issue. It is a heart issue.

Laws can curb some evil but they cannot cure the human heart.

That's what repentance is for.

That's the meaning of Ash Wednesday.

There is a God. We are made in His image. We have sinned against Him. We are accountable to Him. We are mortal.

And we need His grace.

We need a Savior.

Our nation now scoffs when God or prayer are brought up in the midst of tragedy. Such "religious wishful thinking" seems meaningless to a prideful, self-autonomous, contemptuous culture.

But that is part of the problem.

We are too angry to weep. Too proud to see our need.

Perhaps the words of a president in the midst of our nation's most divided, violent, and tragic time can still speak to us today.

Whereas it is the duty of nations as well as of men to own their dependence upon the overruling power of God, to confess their sins and transgressions in humble sorrow, yet with assured hope that genuine repentance will lead to mercy and pardon, and to recognize the sublime truth, announced in the Holy Scriptures and proven by all history, that those nations only are blessed whose God is the Lord;

And, insomuch as we know that by His divine law nations, like individuals, are subjected to punishments and chastisements in this world, may we not justly fear that the awful calamity of civil war which now desolates the land may be but a punishment inflicted upon us for our presumptuous sins, to the needful end of our national reformation as a whole people?

We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of Heaven; we have been preserved these many years in peace and prosperity; we have grown in numbers, wealth, and power as no other nation has ever grown.

But we have forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious hand which preserved us in peace and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us, and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own. Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God that made us.

It behooves us, then, to humble ourselves before the offended Power, to confess our national sins, and to pray for clemency and forgiveness.

(Abraham Lincoln, Proclamation 97—Appointing a Day of National Humiliation, Fasting, and Prayer, March 30, 1863)

O Lord, comfort the hearts of those grieving. Give them a peace beyond understanding and a hope beyond this cruel world. Give me a humble heart that grieves with them. Forgive our sins as a people. And please heal our land.

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