Holy Flesh

Posted on August 2, 2013 by Steve Foster
19 Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
 
Here is Paul's ultimate motivation for avoiding sexual immorality and living a holy life. Typically when we try to motivate people toward avoiding sin, we talk about the dangers of sin and the benefits of living righteously. Nothing wrong with that. In fact, Paul has already done that in this passage (6:12-18). But rarely do we go to the next step and give the higher motivation for righteous living. 
 
My body is the very dwelling place of the Holy Spirit. 
 
This should blow our circuits. It would have blown the circuits of the average Jew, that's for sure. The temple…the holiest place on earth…the Holy of Holies…the place that could only be entered once a year and only by the high priest and only with blood…is now my body. I am God's temple. This piece of flesh. These arms, these legs, these eyes, these ears, this mouth. I am to be the holiest place on earth. I am to be the place that people meet God. 
 
How is this possible?
 
For you were bought with a price.
 
Jesus Christ redeemed me. He bought me out of the slave market of sin…with His precious, infinite, invaluable blood. For you know that you were redeemed from your empty way of life inherited from the fathers, not with perishable things like silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without defect or blemish (1 Peter 1:18-19). 
 
Through faith alone in Christ alone…I have been purchased, regenerated, redeemed.
 
I am no longer my own. 
 
I can no longer claim, "Hey, it's my body. I can do what I want. Who are you to tell me what to do?" It is not my body. It is His. Actually it was never my body to begin with. It was given to me. And though it is my responsibility…it is mine…it is me. It is also under the ownership of someone else. Before Christ, it was under the ownership of sin. Now, in Christ, it is under the ownership of God.
 
I am under new management. The old has passed away. Behold, the new has come. 
 
Therefore glorify God in your body.
 
Take this piece of flesh. Take these hands, these feet, these eyes, these ears, this mouth…and yes, even these sexual parts. And use them…in God's will…with God's power…for God's glory. 
 
And here's the awesome part…in giving myself away in obedience, I find everything that I desperately wanted in sin.
 
I find the beauty and joy of holiness.
 
God is glorified. I am satisfied.
 
In this holy temple of flesh.
Posted in 1 Corinthians | Leave a comment

22 Things I Have Learned in 22 Years of Marriage

Posted on June 22, 2013 by Steve Foster

On June 22, I reached the point where I have been married for half my life. Married at 22 years old and married for 22 years. It has been an awesome adventure and I wouldn't trade the past 22 years of marriage for anything else this world could offer. In honor of our 22nd anniversary on June 22, here are 22 things that I have learned about marriage.

1. Love deepens over time. I certainly loved Liz when I married her 22 years ago but I really didn't understand the depths of love or what it really meant to love someone. Love is only built on knowledge, commitment, and intimacy developed and experienced over time. 

2. To have a good marriage marry a good person. I wish I could take more credit for the health of my marriage but in reality I was just blessed to marry a godly woman with strong character. She has been the perfect complement for me and has made me a better man. The only credit I can take is seeking out a Christian wife with a good testimony. But the rest was a step of faith and the grace of God. 

3. Marriage doesn't resolve your personal issues rather it exposes them. If you go into marriage thinking that your spouse will solve all your problems, fill all your voids, and meet all your deepest needs, then you will be sorely disappointed. You must bring emotional and spiritual health into the marriage, not expect emotional and spiritual health to come from the marriage. 

4. The first year of marriage is one of the toughest…and honeymoons are fairly disappointing. I can't say that our honeymoon or our first year of marriage were "bad." They had their fun, enjoyable moments. But, looking back, they were definitely not the "perpetual moments of bliss" that I dreamed they would be. Instead they were much more awkward, stressful, and difficult than I could have expected.

5. Don't go to bed angry with each other. One of the few pieces of advice that we grabbed onto early in our marriage was from Ephesians 4:26, Don't let the sun go down on your anger. We have stuck to that piece of advice…even when it meant staying up late to have a difficult conversation…and it has kept our marriage from a lot of misunderstanding and bitterness.

6. Don't play competitive games against your spouse. Maybe some marriages can handle this but we can't. Our first fight was over a game of Boggle. Yes, Boggle. I questioned her score and she questioned my trust in her. Fun stuff. We are both competitive and we found it almost impossible to play against each other without it resulting in some unneeded tension. We have chosen to be on the same team as much as possible ever since.

7. Work as a team. Piggybacking on the above, we have sought to tackle things in life as a team instead of as competitors. Instead of letting an issue divide us, we have tried to use it to bring us together. A problem is either an opportunity to work together as a team or ammunition to use in a war. We have strived to choose the former. Praying together and serving together in ministry have reinforced the "team mentality" in our marriage.

8. Move away from home. Okay, maybe this doesn't work or isn't necessary for everyone but for us it was a blessing to be away from our parents and families during the early years of our marriage. We were forced to grow together as a couple apart from the "roles" that we often play in our families. This is the "leave principle" in Genesis 2:24 and it must be done emotionally if not geographically. 

9. Avoid debt. Again, some people can't avoid this but being free from debt in the early years of our marriage took a lot of stress off our backs. We have kept a tight lid on our finances throughout our marriage…operating from a tangible but flexible budget…and it has removed one big marital problem off the table for us. 

10. Parenting is a major stress on marriage. Our biggest fights and frustrations came after we had our first little bundle of joy. Tiredness. Different parenting approaches. Lack of free time. Responsibility. Irritableness. Unmet expectations. All of it came to a head with our first child. Thankfully we had seven years of marriage under our belt to help us work through it but it was a major stressor nonetheless. People who think that having a child will strengthen a weak marriage or correct a poor relationship are living in a fantasy world. 

11. Share email accounts, Facebook, and computers. For us this has been a simple way to avoid potential temptations and distractions in our marriage.

12. Avoid any kind of marital scorekeeping. Scorekeeping is a killer to marriages. "I've done this, this, and this…and you have only done this… thus you owe me." We got trapped in this thinking briefly after having kids. Thankfully we recognized it and stopped it.

13. Marry your best friend. Physical attraction is certainly a real element in choosing a mate but in the end it won't make or preserve a good marriage. I found that even when we were not officially dating, Liz and I kept spending time together. Our friendship has made our marriage…and our physical attraction…that much stronger. 

14. Learn to appreciate your differences. Liz and I are very different. She is decisive, blunt, cut and dry, and loves discipline and schedules. I am more indecisive, contemplative, creative, and love a more laid back approach. She can manage many things; I prefer to focus on one thing at a time. When we were dating, we were attracted by the differences. A few years into marriage, we became a little more aggravated by the differences. But over time, by God's grace, we have become amused by the differences. We have learned to laugh at ourselves and the different ways we do things…and to appreciate how we both have grown by being married to someone different than ourselves. As Ruth Bell Graham once said, "If two people agree on everything, then one of them is unnecessary."

15. Plan weekly date nights. After having kids, this is especially essential for a marriage. We have made a weekly date night a priority in our marriage. Usually we use a coupon or a gift card for dinner and then find a coffee shop to hang out in to talk about our week and take a "pulse" of our marriage and family. Our kids know that our marriage relationship with each other takes priority over over our parenting relationship to them…and they are thankful for it! It is awesome to hear them say, "Hey, aren't y'all taking a date night soon?"  

16. Take note of each other's "love language." The love language thing can be taken overboard but it has been something that we have noted in our marriage. The best way for me to say "I love you" to Liz is to do acts of service for her–wash the dishes, pick up around the house, clean the bathrooms. For me, I need to hear words of encouragement. The funny thing is that we discovered early on that gift giving is not high on either of our lists. We both returned our first Christmas gifts to each other. Since then, we have decided to shop together for things we want and simply go out to eat together on special occasions. 

17. Sleep in a small bed. Okay, again this is just our experience but we have never owned a bed bigger than a full size. It has kept us close at night and not allowed us to retreat to our own corner of the bed in times of conflict. 

18. Intimacy is built on security. I think I am finally beginning to understand Genesis 2:25, They were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. It is more than just a physical thing. It is a feeling of total vulnerability with your spouse that only comes from the security of a lifelong commitment reinforced over time. Intimacy is only bulit on vulnerability and vulnerability only comes within security. It is awesome to experience a relationship with no barriers, hidden agendas, fears, or regrets. 

19. Marry young. I certainly recognize that this isn't always possible…or wise. But for us, marrying at a relatively young age (22 and 20) enabled us to grow together through the early stages of adulthood. We developed our life patterns together, aligned our life direction together, faced life decisions together, and were forced to grow in responsibility and commitment sooner. 

20. Sexual purity is worth it. Remaining sexually pure as a young adult was one of the toughest challenges I have ever faced, yet looking back I am so glad that I made that commitment. Enjoying intimacy with my wife with no other thoughts of anyone else brings a closeness that I can't imagine being any better.

21. Monogamy is worth it. I am convinced that being committed to one woman over time brings the highest sexual satisfaction. Sexual intimacy is definitely a learning process that only gets better and better over time.  

22. Marriage is a blessing from God. With divorce rates on the rise, cohabitation the norm, and redefinition the trend, marriage is on the ropes in many respects. But I have found that trusting God's design and following God's ways has made our marriage as strong and as satisfying as any human relationship can be. I give God the glory for His good gift of marriage. And if the intimacy keeps getting better and the love keeps growing deeper then I can't wait for the next 22 years! 

Posted in Sex and Marriage | 3 Comments

The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert

Posted on June 20, 2013 by Steve Foster

Rosaria Champagne Butterfield's book, The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert: an English Professor's Journey into the Christian Faith, was mentioned in a blog. It sounded interesting to me so I ordered it.

I read it in one day. 

I would have to rate her book as one of the best books I have read in the past few years….one, because it is always awesome to read a compelling life story…two, because Rosaria's story is so relevant in today's culture…and three, because her stark honesty and simple testimony challenged me in so many areas of my own life. 

Rosaria, aka Dr. Champagne, was a professor of English Literature at Syracuse University, a teacher in the Center for Women's Studies, and an avowed lesbian activist. She ridiculed…and feared Christianity…at the same time. 

Her book provided an inside look on how those in the LGBT community view most Christians. 

Christians always seemed like bad thinkers to me. It seemed that they could  maintain their worldview only because they were sheltered from the world's real problems…. Christians always seemed like bad readers to me, too. They appeared to use the Bible in a way that Marxists would call "vulgar"–that is, common, or, in order to bring the Bible into a conversation to stop the conversion, not deepen it. "The Bible says" always seemed to me like a mantra that invited everyone to put his or her brain on hold. "The Bible says" was the Big Pause before the conversation stopped. (4)

Too often the church does not know how to interface with university culture because it comes to the table only ready to moralize and not dialogue. There is a core difference between sharing the gospel with the lost and imposing a specific moral standard on the unconverted. (7)

Dr. Champagne's mind began to change with a simple letter. She had attacked the traditional view of the family in a local newspaper and had received a mountain of mail which she could easily categorize as "fan mail" or "hate mail." But one letter defied categorization. It was written by a local pastor, Ken Smith, who simply and graciously challenged her presuppositions.

"It was the kindest letter of opposition that I had ever received" (9). 

Out of curiosity, Dr. Champagne called the pastor. After a nice chat, the pastor invited her for a home-cooked dinner with him and his wife. She accepted. And thus began a friendship and a conversation that would lead Dr. Champagne down a road that she didn't anticipate. A road that led to a "train wreck" in her life as the foundations of her thinking and identity were kindly confronted. 

Later, Dr. Champagne would reflect on this time in her life in a speech given at Syracuse University to incoming graduate students. It was a time when she was not only talking to Pastor Smith but also doing research for her second book. 

I was studying the Religious Right from the lesbian feminist perspective of the secular left, and aside from discovering what I already knew, that the Religious Right was manipulating religious commitments in the name of capitalist consumerism and conservative political agendas, I discovered something else, something that I wasn't looking for, and something that changed my life–not to mention my research–from the ground up. I discovered that God isn't just a narrative we pick like summer berries or leave for the next person; nor is God a set of social conventions tailored for the weak of mind; nor is God a consumerist social construct who exists in the service of Christian imperialist ideologies and right-wing politics. Rather, I discovered that God through Jesus Christ exists, the triune God of the Bible exists, whether we acknowledge him or not. I discovered that God wasn't very happy with me.  (46-47)

As Rosaria began to read and hear God's Word, she was "forced to see pride and not sexual orientation as the root sin." 

The truth is, outside of Christ, I am a manipulator, liar, power-monger, and controller. In my relationships with men and with women, I had to be in charge. (32)

The Christian life is a life imbued with the supernatural power and authority of God. God is the God of salvation. We do not control God by saying magic words or attending church. Conversion is a heart-affair. Before we can come to Christ, we must empty ourselves of the false pride, blame-shifting, excuse-making, and self-deception that preoccupies our days and our relationships. Before we can come to Christ, we must come to ourselves. (36-37)

Conversion put me in a complicated and comprehensive chaos. I sometimes wonder, when I hear other Christians pray for the salvation of the "lost," if they realize that this comprehensive chaos is the desired end of such prayers. Often, people asked me to describe the "lessons" that I learned from this experience. I can't. It was too traumatic. Sometimes in crisis, we don't really learn lessons. Sometimes the result is simpler and more profound: sometimes our character is simply transformed. (27)

Rosaria's conversion to Christ put her personal and professional life in a tailspin. Her friends couldn't understand her "newfound faith" and at times tried to draw her back into her old life. Her university didn't quite know what to do her though her classes began to be packed with interested students. And her new church didn't quite know how to walk her through all the challenges that she would face on a daily basis. Perhaps the church's biggest mistake was encouraging her toward a heterosexual marriage way too soon after her conversion. Her words on this were powerful and direct…and a warning that all of us need to hear and share, especially in our present culture.

What good Christians don't realize is that sexual sin is not recreational sex gone overboard. Sexual sin is predatory. It won't be "healed" by redeeming the context of the genders. Sexual sin must simply be killed. What is left of your sexuality after this annihilation is  up to God. But healing, to the sexual sinner, is death: nothing more and nothing less. …Too many young Christian fornicators plan that marriage will redeem their sin. Too many young Christian masturbators plan that marriage will redeem their patterns. Too many young Christian internet pornographers think that having legitimate sex will take away the desire to have illicit sex. They're wrong. And the marriages that result from this line of thinking are dangerous places. I know why over 50% of Christian marriages end in divorce: because Christians act as though marriage redeems sin. Marriage does not redeem sin. Only Jesus himself can do that. (83)

There is so much more in her book that convicted me, encouraged me, and challenged the way that I think and live as a Christian. How do you stand for the sanctity of marriage in a culture increasingly committed to sexual freedom? How do you stand for biblical truth while showing compassionate love at the same time? It seems like an impossible task. Most Christians drift toward one side or the other–either watering down the Bible's clear standards on sexuality in the name of love or preaching down at those in sexual sin in the name of truth. It is a walk on a tightrope between love and truth, between mercy and righteousness, between unconditional kindness and uncompromising boldness. The balancing act between doing justly and loving mercy is only found in walking humbly with your God (Micah 6:8). 

Today, Rosaria Champagne Butterfield is married to a Reformed Presbyterian pastor in North Carolina. They have several adopted foster children that Rosaria homeschools in classical education. 

I am sure if I met Rosaria today, I would have no idea of the past that she has come from.

I guess that is true of everyone that I meet. 

Maybe that's why God calls me to walk in humilty, speak with grace, and focus on the gospel of Jesus Christ. Because I never know if I am in the company of someone who will be the unlikeliest of converts.

Posted in Recommended Books | Leave a comment

Why I Still Care about Tim Tebow

Posted on June 13, 2013 by Steve Foster

A year and a half ago I wrote a post about Tim Tebow (see https://heelcatcher.com/?p=602). It was in the height of his improbable run of leading the Denver Broncos into the playoffs…despite putting up awful stats as a quarterback and generally waiting until the last two minutes of the 4th quarter to play well. It was a fun ride and Tebow became a phenomenom and a pariah both at the same time.

Since then, Tebow has been wished sayonara by the Broncos (who never really wanted him as a QB), languished through an abysmal year with the Jets (who never really knew why they had him), and been passed over by every other team in the NFL (who never really thought he belonged in the NFL to begin with). 

Until Belichick and the New England Patriots picked him up on a no guarantee, two-year contract this past week.

Tebow is back on the NFL radar and all over the Twitter world…though many would say that he never really left it. 

I was excited to hear the news that the Patriots had picked him up. I was hoping that he would get another chance to play in the NFL. I figured Jacksonville would be the first to pick him up when he was released. It seemed like a no brainer to me. If the goal of an NFL team (at least in the business sense) is to sell tickets, then Tebow would be an immediate draw to a mediocre franchise. What would be the harm of giving the "Tebow experiment" a year to work? Jacksonville isn't wowing anyone on the field right now and their current QB isn't that exciting to the Jacksonville fan base. C'mon, would you be more likely to watch a Jacksonville game if Tebow was QBing or Blaine Gabbert was? If Tebow didn't work out, then everyone would know it. If he did, then Jacksonville would not only be successful in the ticket office but in the win column as well. But Jacksonville, which is sort of like the neglected little step-child of the NFL, apparently didn't want to appear to be desperate or out of step with the other teams in the league. Why risk being the laughingstock of the league when you are already snickered at as a franchise?

So many thought that Tebow's only real hope was the Patriots. Belichick could keep the media circus in line. Josh McDaniels, who was the only one who really believed in Tebow on draft day, is on the Patriots' staff. And the starting QB, Tom Brady, is so solidly entrenched that no QB controversy could feasibily develop. But the Patriots didn't seem interested.

Until now. 

After the Patriots picked Tebow up, I read some of the comments by sportswriters. Most thought that Belichick was arrogant or just plain stupid. Few saw any value in Tebow. Many used the opportunity to again blast the man they love to blast. "He can't play QB." "His mechanics are terrible." "Welcome to the circus." "Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb…." 

Why all the fascination, fuming, and fuss over Tebow?

I am a Tebow fan. I guess I am one of the "crazies" that sportswriters like to lampoon. But I don't like Tebow because I think he is the next Peyton Manning. Hey, Denver is much better off with Peyton at the helm. I don't know a lot about QB mechanics and so who I am to say whether Tebow can make it in the NFL? Maybe he can't. Maybe all the naysayers will be proved right. That's okay. Football to me is just entertainment. It is not life or death (despite what many fans think). It is a game. A fun game. A lucrative game. But a game nonetheless. 

I like Tebow because I respect him. I admire his Christian faith. I think he is a young man of integrity. I think he is a hard worker, an authentic individual, a good athlete, and a person with a genuine desire to use his influence and affluence to encourage others, help the needy, and share the good news of Jesus Christ. I like Tebow because he is someone that I would gladly have my four boys look up to and emulate. That can't be said about a lot of sports stars. So for that reason, I would love to see him succeed. 

So for the life of me, I can't understand why people seem to hate him so much…and want him to fail. Maybe he gets too much attention. Sportswriters like to blame Tebow fans for keeping him on the radar…but Tebow fans aren't the ones who keep writing sports columns about him and featuring him on ESPN. Maybe his fans are too devoted to him. That's possible but not really new or unusual in the sports world. How can fans of sports athletes decry other fans of sports athletes for being fans of sports athletes? "Well, Tebow hasn't done enough to deserve it." I don't know. Two national collegiate championships and a Heisman Trophy aren't too shabby. And despite poor statistics, he actually has done remarkably well as a starting NFL QB…at least in the wins and "intangibles" categories. 

No, Tebow seems to inspire disdain and disgust for some other reason. Maybe he is "too good" as a role model. Maybe he's the good kid that always gets A's in the class and so the other kids in the class start wanting him to fail. Maybe people see him as a fake because he smiles too much. Maybe people have lingering loatheful feelings from his days as a Florida Gator. Maybe people hate second and third string QB's with bad mechanics. Maybe some hate Tebow because he represents what our society can no longer seem to understand or tolerate–a commitment to sexual purity and an unabashed devotion to Jesus Christ as his Savior. 

I don't know.   

But I do know if Tebow makes the cut and plays this year in the NFL, then I will say something that I don't think I have ever said before.

"Go Patriots!"

Posted in Random Thoughts | 2 Comments

Pride in the Pews

Posted on May 24, 2013 by Steve Foster
10 Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment. 11 For it has been declared to me concerning you, my brethren, by those of Chloe’s household, that there are contentions among you. 12 Now I say this, that each of you says, “I am of Paul,” or “I am of Apollos,” or “I am of Cephas,” or “I am of Christ.” 13 Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Or were you baptized in the name of Paul?
 
14 I thank God that I baptized none of you except Crispus and Gaius, 15 lest anyone should say that I had baptized in my own name. 16 Yes, I also baptized the household of Stephanas. Besides, I do not know whether I baptized any other. 17 For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel, not with wisdom of words, lest the cross of Christ should be made of no effect. (1 Corinthians 1:10-17)
 
It is sometimes funny to me when people talk about becoming like the early church. Yes, there were some major positives in the early church that we should emulate and some great examples that we should follow, but the early church had problems just like the church today. The battle with the sinful nature was around then and it is still alive today. 
 
After thanking God for His work of salvation in the believers at Corinth, Paul immediately makes his heartfelt appeal to the Corinthians…Be unified! 
 
The Corinthian church thought it was spiritual, mature, and the best church in the area. But Paul had a different opinion. Their pride, puffed up views, and petty disputes with one another proved their immaturity.
 
As I read this passage this morning, I was drawn to Paul's appeal. I plead with you… I pictured a father with his children, "Please, stop. Can't you get along? Are you really fighting over such pointless things? Can't you learn to speak encouragement to one another instead of always tearing each other down?" 
 
It still boggles my mind how people would rather be right about their opinions and miserable than to swallow their pride and seek reconciliation and peace. But then I stop and realize how hard it is for me to admit that I am wrong, to take a rebuke, to say that I am sorry, to stop talking long enough to listen to someone else. Ouch!
 
Now I am sure the Corinthians thought they were arguing over important things. 
 
I am of Paul, the apostle to the Gentiles. 
 
Well, I am of Apollos, the great orator of truth. 
 
Gimme a break, I am of Cephas, the disciple who walked with the Lord. 
 
You are all so childish, I am the one who is truly following Christ.
 
But in Paul's assessment, it was all puffed up pride. The key word in all those statements is the word "I." It stands at the forefront of immaturity and at the center of pride and sin. When we start spouting out our opinions as if they are the standard and the measure by which others should be measured, then we need to stop and check our heart.
 
God throws different people together in a family…and in a church…to teach us how to humble ourselves and to learn how to love. 
 
Lord, deliver me from me. 
Posted in 1 Corinthians | Leave a comment