Rosaria Champagne Butterfield's book, The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert: an English Professor's Journey into the Christian Faith, was mentioned in a blog. It sounded interesting to me so I ordered it.
I read it in one day.
I would have to rate her book as one of the best books I have read in the past few years….one, because it is always awesome to read a compelling life story…two, because Rosaria's story is so relevant in today's culture…and three, because her stark honesty and simple testimony challenged me in so many areas of my own life.
Rosaria, aka Dr. Champagne, was a professor of English Literature at Syracuse University, a teacher in the Center for Women's Studies, and an avowed lesbian activist. She ridiculed…and feared Christianity…at the same time.
Her book provided an inside look on how those in the LGBT community view most Christians.
Christians always seemed like bad thinkers to me. It seemed that they could maintain their worldview only because they were sheltered from the world's real problems…. Christians always seemed like bad readers to me, too. They appeared to use the Bible in a way that Marxists would call "vulgar"–that is, common, or, in order to bring the Bible into a conversation to stop the conversion, not deepen it. "The Bible says" always seemed to me like a mantra that invited everyone to put his or her brain on hold. "The Bible says" was the Big Pause before the conversation stopped. (4)
Too often the church does not know how to interface with university culture because it comes to the table only ready to moralize and not dialogue. There is a core difference between sharing the gospel with the lost and imposing a specific moral standard on the unconverted. (7)
Dr. Champagne's mind began to change with a simple letter. She had attacked the traditional view of the family in a local newspaper and had received a mountain of mail which she could easily categorize as "fan mail" or "hate mail." But one letter defied categorization. It was written by a local pastor, Ken Smith, who simply and graciously challenged her presuppositions.
"It was the kindest letter of opposition that I had ever received" (9).
Out of curiosity, Dr. Champagne called the pastor. After a nice chat, the pastor invited her for a home-cooked dinner with him and his wife. She accepted. And thus began a friendship and a conversation that would lead Dr. Champagne down a road that she didn't anticipate. A road that led to a "train wreck" in her life as the foundations of her thinking and identity were kindly confronted.
Later, Dr. Champagne would reflect on this time in her life in a speech given at Syracuse University to incoming graduate students. It was a time when she was not only talking to Pastor Smith but also doing research for her second book.
I was studying the Religious Right from the lesbian feminist perspective of the secular left, and aside from discovering what I already knew, that the Religious Right was manipulating religious commitments in the name of capitalist consumerism and conservative political agendas, I discovered something else, something that I wasn't looking for, and something that changed my life–not to mention my research–from the ground up. I discovered that God isn't just a narrative we pick like summer berries or leave for the next person; nor is God a set of social conventions tailored for the weak of mind; nor is God a consumerist social construct who exists in the service of Christian imperialist ideologies and right-wing politics. Rather, I discovered that God through Jesus Christ exists, the triune God of the Bible exists, whether we acknowledge him or not. I discovered that God wasn't very happy with me. (46-47)
As Rosaria began to read and hear God's Word, she was "forced to see pride and not sexual orientation as the root sin."
The truth is, outside of Christ, I am a manipulator, liar, power-monger, and controller. In my relationships with men and with women, I had to be in charge. (32)
The Christian life is a life imbued with the supernatural power and authority of God. God is the God of salvation. We do not control God by saying magic words or attending church. Conversion is a heart-affair. Before we can come to Christ, we must empty ourselves of the false pride, blame-shifting, excuse-making, and self-deception that preoccupies our days and our relationships. Before we can come to Christ, we must come to ourselves. (36-37)
Conversion put me in a complicated and comprehensive chaos. I sometimes wonder, when I hear other Christians pray for the salvation of the "lost," if they realize that this comprehensive chaos is the desired end of such prayers. Often, people asked me to describe the "lessons" that I learned from this experience. I can't. It was too traumatic. Sometimes in crisis, we don't really learn lessons. Sometimes the result is simpler and more profound: sometimes our character is simply transformed. (27)
Rosaria's conversion to Christ put her personal and professional life in a tailspin. Her friends couldn't understand her "newfound faith" and at times tried to draw her back into her old life. Her university didn't quite know what to do her though her classes began to be packed with interested students. And her new church didn't quite know how to walk her through all the challenges that she would face on a daily basis. Perhaps the church's biggest mistake was encouraging her toward a heterosexual marriage way too soon after her conversion. Her words on this were powerful and direct…and a warning that all of us need to hear and share, especially in our present culture.
What good Christians don't realize is that sexual sin is not recreational sex gone overboard. Sexual sin is predatory. It won't be "healed" by redeeming the context of the genders. Sexual sin must simply be killed. What is left of your sexuality after this annihilation is up to God. But healing, to the sexual sinner, is death: nothing more and nothing less. …Too many young Christian fornicators plan that marriage will redeem their sin. Too many young Christian masturbators plan that marriage will redeem their patterns. Too many young Christian internet pornographers think that having legitimate sex will take away the desire to have illicit sex. They're wrong. And the marriages that result from this line of thinking are dangerous places. I know why over 50% of Christian marriages end in divorce: because Christians act as though marriage redeems sin. Marriage does not redeem sin. Only Jesus himself can do that. (83)
There is so much more in her book that convicted me, encouraged me, and challenged the way that I think and live as a Christian. How do you stand for the sanctity of marriage in a culture increasingly committed to sexual freedom? How do you stand for biblical truth while showing compassionate love at the same time? It seems like an impossible task. Most Christians drift toward one side or the other–either watering down the Bible's clear standards on sexuality in the name of love or preaching down at those in sexual sin in the name of truth. It is a walk on a tightrope between love and truth, between mercy and righteousness, between unconditional kindness and uncompromising boldness. The balancing act between doing justly and loving mercy is only found in walking humbly with your God (Micah 6:8).
Today, Rosaria Champagne Butterfield is married to a Reformed Presbyterian pastor in North Carolina. They have several adopted foster children that Rosaria homeschools in classical education.
I am sure if I met Rosaria today, I would have no idea of the past that she has come from.
I guess that is true of everyone that I meet.
Maybe that's why God calls me to walk in humilty, speak with grace, and focus on the gospel of Jesus Christ. Because I never know if I am in the company of someone who will be the unlikeliest of converts.
